During the first half hour of Killers – no, scratch that, the entire hour and a half – I kept thinking, the guy from Dude, Where's My Car is trying to play James Bond...seriously? Seriously.
That would be fine if the whole movie were a send-up. But that's only half-true. You've got Katherine Heigl going through her looney motions as Kutcher's wife of three years who finds out hubby used to be an assassin for the CIA. Catherine O'Hara is on hand, too, doing some crazy shtick as Heigl's constantly inebriated mom.
But Kutcher, in the opening scenes and somewhat throughout, oddly plays it as a straight action dude - the killer who longs to be domesticated but can't when the other killers come calling. And Tom Selleck as Heigl's untrusting, mopey dad just sort of saunters in and out of scenes.
The action scenes are strangely played straight as well, although they never go for broke since this is of course a PG-13 movie.
There's even a cameo from Usher as a store security guard who helps Heigl's character find some home pregnancy tests (yes, you heard that right). In a pointless story, he's equally pointless.
The crowd I saw it with seemed to dig it, so either they're diehard Heigl/Kutcher fans, aren't too demanding of their movie product, or on Day 29 I'm just too tired and missed something. Actually, I did like something about Kutcher's spy movie over Gyllenhaal's romp in the desert. It's shorter.