by Chuck Walton
In honor of the cold-blooded but fresh-faced young vampires descending on our cineplexes soon, we recently ran a Twilight poll to find
out who you, the modern vamp fans, think are the sexiest bloodsuckers to ever hit the big screen. Here are the results - a top 20 countdown of those who have the right bite. Dig in!
The film may be a quarter century old, but Catherine Deneuve is still the definition of goth punk chic as a vampiress who grants semi-eternal life. One bite, and you get to live a couple hundred years. Then comes the bad news, where you age rapidly and deteoriate into something resembling Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.
It takes a lot to stand out against Wesley Snipes' cooler-than-cool half-vampire/vampire hunter Blade, but Chilean actress and model Leonor Varela has no problem turning heads (including Blade's) in this sequel. In the battle between vampires, half-vampires, new strains of vampires, and plain 'ol human beings, Varela's Nyssa Damaskinos has a way of seducing them all.
The other half of the sexy couple in The Hunger is eternally youthful rocker David Bowie. Here, he's an 18th century cellist (!) whose glory days as a bloodsucker are almost up...unless he can charm the pants off an attractive doctor (Susan Sarandon) who specializes in "age disorders."
Ah, Paris! The city of eternal love. And, for those who really like their passion red-blooded and frisky, it's a place where young backpackers like Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood on a different kind of journey) can fall in love with beautiful women who want to suck their blood (an eternally memorable Olga Kurylenko).
Speaking of blood, there's a lot of it, and plenty of camp amusment, in Bordello of Blood, topped off by supermodel-turned-actress Angie Everhart's bloodcurdling turn as Lilith, also known as "the mother of all vampires."
In the "I've just been turned into a vampire, and I'm mega p.o.'d" category, we have Lucy Liu, star of Rise: Blood Hunter. Formerly a news reporter, Ms. Liu wakes up in the morgue to find she's been changed into a vampire. Now, she's extremely hot and bothered. Beware all vamps responsible for her predicament.
Long before Monica Belluci teased and tantalized him in The Matrix: Reloaded, Keanu Reeves received his first love bite from the temptress in Bram Stoker's Dracula (pictured left, in the middle). She's not in it much, but trust us, you'll notice her when she is.
He's believably gruff and stodgy as Richard Nixon in the upcoming Frost/Nixon. But back in the late '70s, Frank Langella was a true ladykiller in Dracula: A Love Story. Directed by Saturday Night Fever's John Badham, and not to be confused with Geore Hamilton's hokey Love at First Bite (also released in '79).
Let's face it. Van Helsing kind of blows. But if there is anything worth mentioning about the movie (ok, it was a big international moneymaker), it's Elena Anaya as Aleera, the raven-haired, youngest bride of Dracula. Sexy is as sexy does.
Young Twilighters, The Lost Boys is the teen vamp touchstone of your thirtysomething relatives, and Jason Patric is sort of the Robert Pattinson of yesteryear. Not quite a full-fledged vampire, he was still Rob Lowe-esque enough to make the hearts of many a teen girl pitter and patter. (And btw, what's with the actual Rob Lowe poster on Corey Haim's door?)
The other Lost Boys hearthrob (Twilight's James) was Kiefer Sutherland's David, the super hip leader of Santa Carla's MTV-ready vamp gang. And yes, that curly-haired guy is Bill from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. For the record, we always liked the silent, but cool-looking Billy Wirth (the dude with the black hair)...his stereo scene is a classic.
Once upon a time in 1992, the actor now best known as good, old Commisioner Gordon in the Batman movies spread his own bat wings and burned up the screen as the gothic, moody, one-and-only Count Dracula in Francis Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula. Lock up your fiancees. Even pretty boys Cary Elwes and Keanu Reeves stood no chance against Oldman's Vlad the Impaler.
Novelist Anne Rice wasn't too keen at the casting of Tom Cruise as her beloved vampire Lestat. But throw in some blonde tresses, fangs and a committed performance by Cruise -- full to the brim with impassioned, bloodthirsty bluster -- and we all became believers. Good luck to those who offered up their necks. The rest of us were happy, and fascinated, to watch from a distance.
Sadly, singer-actress Aaliyah died in a plane crash six months before the release of Queen of the Damned. But she is still highly memorable as the title character, the vampiress Akasha, who takes Anne Rice's most popular vampire, Lestat, as her new king, after seeing him rock out at a concert in Death Valley.
Beware sexy strippers named Santanico Pandemonium. Especially if they dance at seedy joints in the middle of the Mexican desert. The pre-show will be great. But there is a price to be paid when the spectacle looks that good. And dollar bills won't exactly cover it.
Gerard Butler's female fans surely appreciated his facial hair and abdominal muscles as King Leonidas in 300. They also probably didn't mind his glowering expressions and the key lighting in Dracula 2000. In the update, Butler's Dracula seeks fresh blood in modern day New Orleans, and his true identiy is revealed to be none other than Judas Iscariot.
Moving up in the ranks of modern vamp fans' memory is Stuart Townsend's Lestat, literally a taller, more rocking version of the Tom Cruise rendition. He's a vampire. He's a rock star. What's not to love?
Cruise's Lestat is the star, but Pitt's Louis is still the vampire most girls would want to interview, and do other things with. He's a tortured soul for most of the film's running time, but it never stops him from looking like, well, Brad Pitt (i.e. - the rest of maledom would love to look like that in a deathly state).
Here's why Kate Beckinsale in Underworld is so darn sexy. She'll never age. She can take care of you. And she favors outfits that are plastic, spandex and form-fitting. She's a video game vixen come to life, and she was kind enough to play the role again in Underworld: Evolution.
The number one choice in our sexiest movie vampire poll is...you guessed it. By an overwhelming majority of votes (and o.k, there was a bias), Robert Pattinson assumes the mantle. It's true that fans have rated him number one without actually having seen the whole film. But we still love your undying--had to do it--devotion to this new generation's bloodsucker. On Nov. 21, we all get to see if he has the fangs to match.
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