-
By Derrick Deane
Whether he's trying to remember if he's ever been sick, helping a little kid who sees dead people or yippie-kai-yaying bad guys, Bruce Willis has one-lined his movies to $2.9 billion and counting. With A Good Day to Die Hard hitting theaters on Valentine's Day, we thought it high time to take a look back at the greatest bits of dialogue (or improv) the prolific star's ever spoken.
-
Blind Date (1987)
Character: Walter Davis Inquiring about a pending blind date... Quote: "Ted, are we talking a loss of inhibitions here, or does she pee on the floor?"
-
Die Hard (1988)
Character: Officer John McClane Answering terrorist Hans Gruber on the walkie-talkie... Quote: "Yippie-kai-yay ****** ******."
-
Die Hard (1988)
Character: Officer John McClane While crawling through an air duct... Quote: "Now I know what a TV dinner feels like."
-
Die Hard (1988)
Character: Officer John McClane After killing a terrorist and trying to put on his shoes... Quote: "Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill the one with feet smaller than my sister."
-
Die Hard (1988)
Character: Officer John McClane After shoving a terrorist out of one of the high-rise windows to get the attention of Reginald VelJohnson's Sgt. Al Powell... Quote: "Welcome to the party, pal."
-
Look Who's Talking (1989)
Character: Voice of Mikey Right after being born... Quote: "This has to be the weirdest day of my life... well, so far."
-
Look Who's Talking (1989)
Character: Voice of Mikey Quote: "Help! Help! Someone burp me before I blow up!"
-
Die Hard 2 (1990)
Character: Lt. John McClane While waiting for a fax to come thru, he answers the desk clerk's request for drinks later, showing her his wedding ring... Quote: "Just the fax, ma'am. Just the fax."
-
The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Character: Joe Hallenbeck Quote: "The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets."
-
The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Character: Joe Hallenbeck To Damon Wayans' Jimmy Dix... Quote: "This is the 90's. You can't just walk up and slap a guy. You have to say something cool first."
-
Hudson Hawk (1991)
Character: Hudson Hawk Quote: "Is looking like a constipated warthog a prerequisite for getting a job in the art world?"
-
Death Becomes Her (1992)
Character: Dr. Ernest Menville Quote: "Where did you put my wife? The morgue?! She'll be furious!"
-
Striking Distance (1993)
Character: Det. Tom Hardy Quote: "There's an old Irish saying: Don't listen to old Italian sayings."
-
Striking Distance (1993)
Character: Det. Tom Hardy Quote: "Maybe you need a drink to ease the pain of being wrong."
-
Color of Night (1994)
Character: Dr. Bill Capa Quote: "In the what-I-wait-for department, you're it, baby."
-
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Character: Butch Coolidge To his girlfriend, Fabienne, who wants to know where he got the motorcycle and who Zed is... Quote: "Zed's dead baby. Zed's dead."
-
Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Character: John McClane Inside the elevator of the Federal Reserve Bank... Quote: "Hot in here, or am I just scared to death?"
-
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
Character: James Cole Quote: "Look at them. They're just asking for it. Maybe the human race deserves to be wiped out."
-
Last Man Standing (1996)
Character: John Smith To David Patrick Kelly's Doyle... Quote: "I'm surprised you aren't mad at me ... I thought you might hold it against me for killing three of your guys."
-
The Fifth Element (1997)
Character: Korben Dallas Answering the policeman who asks him if he's classified as a human... Quote: "Negative. I'm a meat popsicle."
-
Armaggedon (1998)
Character: Harry Stamper Quote: "I ain't gonna kill him. I'm just gonna take one foot off of him. A man can work with one foot."
-
The Siege (1998)
Character: Major General William Devereaux Quote: "The CIA didn't know the Berlin Wall was coming down until bricks started hitting them in the head."
-
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Character: Dr. Malcolm Crowe After Haley Joel Osment's Cole Sear tells him he sees dead people... Quote: "Dead people like, in graves? In coffins? ... How often do you see them?"
-
Breakfast of Champions (1999)
Character: Dwayne Hoover Quote: "It's all life until you're dead."
-
The Kid (2000)
Character: Russ Duritz To Spencer Breslin's Rusty Duritz... Quote: "There's safety in sandwiches."
-
The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Character: Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski Quote: "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive."
-
The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Character: Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski Quote: "I'm telling you this like a friend because if you screw this up ... I would hate to ... I would really hate to have to kill you. I would hate it more than mayonnaise. You know how much I hate mayonnaise."
-
Unbreakable (2000)
Character: David Dunn To Robin Wright's Audrey Dunn... Quote: "I want to ask you a question. It's gonna sound strange, just think about it for a second, okay. When was the last time I was sick? Do you remember?"
-
Bandits (2001)
Character: Joseph "Joe" Blake Responding to Cate Blanchett's reaction to him knowing the lyrics to a certain song... Quote: "Yeah. Bonnie Tyler. 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' It's the ultimate sappy chick song."
-
Tears of the Sun (2003)
Character: Lt. A.K. Waters After Pierrino Mascarino's Father Gianni says, 'Go with God!'... Quote: "God already left Africa."
-
The Whole Ten Yards (2004)
Character: Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski Quote: "How many adoption agencies are gonna give a kid to a professional killer? Maybe I can just steal a kid. They're small. How hard can it be?"
-
Hostage (2005)
Character: Jeff Talley Quote: "You know what cops do when they retire? They play golf. I don't want to play golf. I hate golf!"
-
Sin City (2005)
Character: Hartigan Narrating... Quote: "Sometimes the truth doesnt matter like it ought. But you'll always remember things right. That's gonna mean a lot to me. But stay away, Nancy. They'll kill you if you don't stay away. Don't visit me. Don't write me. Don't even say my name."
-
Sin City (2005)
Character: Hartigan Narrating... Quote: "And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I'll go punch out God."
-
Sin City (2005)
Character: Hartigan Narrating... Quote: "When it comes to reassuring a traumatized 19-year-old, I'm about as expert as a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench."
-
Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
Character: Mr. Goodkat Quote: "The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of a Kansas City Shuffle. A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left."
-
16 Blocks (2006)
Character: Det. Jack Mosley Quote: "Days change, seasons change. People don't change."
-
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Character: John McClane Answering Justin Long's Matt Farrell's amazement at watching McClane guide a police car up into a helicopter... Quote: "I was out of bullets."
-
What Just Happened? (2008)
Character: Himself Delivering a eulogy for a Hollywood agent... Quote: "Hunter S. Thompson once said to me: 'Bruce, my boy, the movie business is a cruel and shallow money trench, where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs.' And then he added, 'There's also a negative side.'"
-
Cop Out (2010)
Character: Jimmy Monroe After hitting Tracy Morgan's Paul Hodges... Quote: "I was in the moment and the moment said, 'Smack you.'"
-
Red (2010)
Character: Frank Moses
To Karl Urban's CIA Agent Cooper, while he has him in a wrestling lock...and right before he snaps his shoulder out of the socket...
Quote: Frank - "Kordeski trained you?"
Cooper - "Yeah"
Frank - "I trained Kordeski." -
Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
Character: Captain Sharp
To Jared Gilman's Sam
Quote:That's very eloquent. I can't argue against anything you're saying. But then again, I don't have to, 'cause you're 12 years old. -
Expendables 2 (2012)
Character: Church
During gun-fight, taking cover next to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Trench
Quote:Trench: I'll be back.
Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back. [leaves]
Trench: Yippee-ki-yay. -
Looper (2012)
Character: Old Joe
Sitting at diner talking with Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Joe
Quote: Joe: ... so why don't you do what old men do and die!
Old Joe: Why don't you just take your little gun out from between your legs and do it... boy.
Special Offer
Buy one ticket to How to Rob a Bank, get one ticket free (equal or lesser price, up to $20 total ticket price and fees) with code HTRABBOGO!
Limited time offer. While supplies last. There is a limited quantity of Code redemptions allowed in this promotion. Log in to your Fandango account on Fandango.com or via the Fandango app between 11/13/26 and 11/20/26, purchase one or more tickets to see How to Rob a Bank, and use the Fandango Promotional Code HTRABBOGO (“Code”) to get up to $20 off an additional ticket for the same showtime (equal or lesser value, up to $20 total ticket price and associated fees and charges). Code must be entered at checkout. Code expires and can no longer be used after 11:59pm PT on 11/20/26, or when How to Rob a Bank is no longer in theaters, or when the limit of Code redemptions is reached, whichever comes first. Only valid for purchase of movie tickets made at Fandango.com or via the Fandango app and cannot be redeemed directly at any theater box office. You must have a Fandango account, and be logged into your account, to use the Code. Fandango is free to join; you must be 18 years of age or older to create a Fandango account. If lost or stolen, cannot be replaced. No cash value, except as required by law. Void where prohibited. Not valid with any other offer. Offer valid in U.S. only (excluding U.S territories and where prohibited by law). Non-transferable. One-time use only. Not for resale; void if sold or exchanged. You may have to pay taxes additionally. If cost of the ticket (and associated fees and charges) obtained through the Code is more than Code’s maximum discount, then you must pay the difference. Any price difference between total transaction price and Code’s maximum discount will not be refunded. Limit one (1) Code redemption per person. Fandango reserves the right to modify or cancel this offer at any time and without notice. This offer and redemption of the Code are subject to Fandango’s Terms and Policies at www.fandango.com/terms-and-policies.
