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Adam Sandler's Greatest Lines
Love him or hate him, there's no denying that Adam Sandler has had more than his fair share of memorable lines. We take a look back at the comic's best movie lines.
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Airheads (1994)
"Remember that fat kid on Hard Copy with a toy gun? The cops zapped him with a taser until he went bald."
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Bill Madison (1995)
"Uh... OK. The Industrial Revolution to me is just like a story I know called The Puppy Who Lost His Way. The world was changing and the puppy was getting... bigger. So you see, the puppy was like industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially the little boy - 'society' - knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution. (Long pause) Knibb High football rules!!"
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Billy Madison (1995)
3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison:YES! You ain't cool unless you pee your pants! -
Billy Madison (1995)
O'Doyle: Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis is the best video game ever.
Billy Madison: I disagree. Mortal Kombat is a good game but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
O'Doyle: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy Madison: You know something? You suck! -
Billy Madison (1995)
(drunk, sees a fake penguin) "It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole."
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Billy Madison (1995)
"I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although, I am an idiot, so it kinda works out."
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Billy Madison (1995)
(singing) "Suntan lotion is good for me / You protect me, hee-hee-hee."
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Happy Gilmore (1996)
(after punching Bob Barker to the ground)
Happy Gilmore: You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?!
Bob Barker: (shakes his head as he gets up from the ground) I don't want a PIECE of you... I want the whole THING! -
Happy Gilmore (1996)
"Oh man! That was so much easier than putting. I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time."
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Happy Gilmore (1996)
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer.... huge ass."
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Happy Gilmore (1996)
Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble, pal. I eat pieces of sh*t like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: (laughing) You eat pieces of sh*t for breakfast?
Shoot McGavin: (long pause) No. -
Happy Gilmore (1996)
"Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like that, I'd have to kick my own ass."
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Bulletproof (1996)
"I don't lilke your God. Your God scares me."
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The Wedding Singer (1998)
"All right, remember - alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!"
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The Wedding Singer (1998)
"Guglia? Oh, so her name is gonna be Guglia. Julia Guglia! That's funny!"
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The Wedding Singer (1998)
(singing) "I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad / Carry you around when your arthritis is bad / All I wanna do is grow old with you. / I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches / Build you a fire if the furnace breaks..." (Full song here)
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The Wedding Singer (1998)
Father of the bride: Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone and you don't, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!" -
The Wedding Singer (1998)
Robbie: Are you drinking, too?
Julia: No, it's Coca-Cola
Robbie: Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola?
Julia: I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid!
Robbie: Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him. -
The Waterboy (1998)
"Now that's what I call high quality H2O."
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The Waterboy (1998)
"Everything is the devil with you, Mama! Well, I like school, and I like football! And I'm gonna keep doin' them both because they make me feel good!
(runs out, slamming door, then comes back in)
And by the way, Mama. Alligators are ornery 'cause of their Medula Oblongata!
(runs back out, then back in again)
And I like Vicki and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too! -
The Waterboy (1998)
Rita: Is there a girl you're seein'?
Bobby: Seein'? Uh, I see a lot of girls... I see a lot of guys too.
Rita: I think that's sexy. You've never been with a guy and girl at the same time?
Bobby: Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time. -
Big Daddy (1999)
"Having a kid is great.... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking."
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Big Daddy (1999)
"What's in the bag, Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassels?"
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Big Daddy (1999)
"I had a mother lined up for him, but she's bangin' the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won't stop peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel."
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Little Nicky (2000)
"Can I wash my winky in your kitchen sinky?"
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Punck-Drunk Love (2002)
"I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine."
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Punck-Drunk Love (2002)
"You can go to places in the world with pudding. That's funny."
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Mr. Deeds (2002)
"It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys."
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Mr. Deeds (2002)
"We all had these dreams, and then we got jobs to achieve those dreams. But we wanted more money, and we got rid of our dreams. You know, if your nine-year-olds saw you guys the way you are, you'd get your butts kicked right now! I mean, look what's happened to us!"
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Mr. Deeds (2002)
(singing)
"I promise to love you for fifty years more / Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor..." -
Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
"Smell ya later, Poopsicle!"
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Anger Management (2003)
Buddy: Take off your clothes, I have a relaxing technique I want to show you. It will be good for you.
Dave: You wanna see me naked, Buddy?
Buddy: Are you a homophobe, Dave?
Dave: No, I'm a taking-my-clothes-off-in-front-of-you-a-phobe. -
Anger Management (2003)
Buddy: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded. -
Anger Management (2003)
Buddy: In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three or four men to share a bed.
Dave: That's why I'm proud to be an American. -
Anger Management (2003)
(singing) "I feel pretty / Oh, so pretty / Oh so pretty and witty and... (pause) gay..." (Full scene here)
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Anger Management (2003)
"I wanna have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my... last name! That's all I want!"
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50 First Dates (2004)
Lucy: What are you doing?
Henry: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you...
Lucy:You were going for a feelski!
Henry: All right, I'm sorry... But this is like the 23rd time we've made out already and.... they're getting blue! -
50 First Dates (2004)
Henry: I was petting my walrus all morning and thinking of you the whole time.
Lucy: Okay, pervert. I think that your should leave.
Henry: What? I was just joking around because of what we talked about yesterday.
Lucy: Yesterday? I've never even met you. -
Spanglish (2004)
"They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're YOU. I mean... (looks down) Look, forgive me. It's just you are DROP DEAD, CRAZY GORGEOUS! So much so that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here."
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The Longest Yard (2005)
(to Short Cop) "Now listen here, Mr. Frodo. Don't get short with me."
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The Longest Yard (2005)
"You're as maniacal as a box of kittens."
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Click (2006)
"Oh my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin!"
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Click (2006)
Michael: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that.
Trudy: It couldn't have gotten any smaller.
Ted: (laughing) It looked like a little tic Tac.
Michael: Yeah, come here, I'll freshen your breath. -
Reign Over Me (2007)
Alan: You okay?
Charlie: Yeah. Just make sure they never schedule me near that girl, alright. I would (pause) no, it's just I never wanna see her again. That's trouble. She's too good looking. I just... Nobody has a right to look that good. She's just trouble from everybody. -
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007)
"Gay guys know how to dance good. It's like the law."
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I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007)
"The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!"
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You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008)
"Unbelievable! This enema gets to live his dream!"
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You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008)
"I just want to make people silky-smooth."
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You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008)
"One woman, one zikpah, one life..."
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Bedtime Stories (2008)
"I don't know but it's been said, Bugsy's eyes pop out of his head."
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Bedtime Stories (2008)
"You're like the classic school principal! I mean, you're scary and bad with people..."
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Bedtime Stories (2008)
"Haven't you heard? Goofy is the new handsome."
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Funny People (2009)
George: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George: And I enjoy all your movies.
Dr. Lars: (surprised) Which movies?
George: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis. -
Funny People (2009)
"Don't cry, you're making a scene. Everyone will think I broke up with you!"
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Funny People (2009)
"You're my best friend, and I don't even like you."
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Grown Ups (2010)
Lenny: Roxanne, I have made out with about 25 girls in this very spot and I want you to be number 26.
Roxanne: As long as I am the last. -
Just Go With It (2011)
Hot Bar Girl: Where's your wife tonight?
Danny: I stopped asking that question a long time ago. -
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