Let's face it, there've been some duds along the way. Here are our top ten lamest comic book movies.
No offense to Ben Affleck, but who really wanted to see the guy as a superhero? Being a big Daredevil comic book fan as a kid, this seemed like the opposite of perfect casting. Wasn't the original hero a sleek, dark, mysterious marauder of the night? Seeing bulky Ben in red leather made fans out of exactly no one. I did like Jennifer Garner's turn as the pumped-up Elektra... but then they made this equally horrible movie called Elektra... which nobody went to see, either.
The only good thing about this movie is Halle Berry's outfit. Watching the rest of this flick is about as fun as having your teeth scraped. It would be great to report that seeing Sharon Stone's campy baddie and Halle Berry's feline heroine go tet a tet is a campy delight a la Showgirls. But that would be dishonest of us.
Three things to avoid in the Superman universe: Nuclear Man (we'll get to him), Faye Dunaway, and the Omegahedron. The last two are both part of the storyline of Supergirl, with Dunaway in full shriek mode as a power-hungry maiden determined to own the precious orb and rule the world. We don't blame Supergirl star Helen Slater for all of this...well, come to think of it, she did make The Legend of Billie Jean, too. Ok, shame on you, Helen.
Here are a couple of sure signs that you've picked the wrong movie. Sylvester Stallone appears on screen in a codpiece and a weird head visor, and screams, "I am the law!" Then, two minutes later, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo star Rob Schneider shows up and screams the same thing. Hilarious. Or not.
We're not saying the 2004 Thomas Jane version is much better, but if you truly want to be punished by The Punisher, stick with the 'what-did-he-just-say?' Dolph Lundgren starrer from 1989, which features the big, indecipherable lunk as the first movie incarnation of vigilante killer Frank Castle.
Here's the pitch. Lex Luthor walks into a museum. He steals some hair from the head of Superman, and then creates this new guy named Nuclear Man, who can do cool things, like make volcanoes erupt, and destroy national treasures such as the Statue of Liberty and the Great Wall of China. Sounds like a great idea for a Superman sequel, right? It wasn't.
Bat nipples? No, seriously, bat nipples? It all goes downhill from there. Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, Arnold Schwarznegger as Mr. Freeze, Chris O'Donnell's return as boy wonder Robin. It all just seems a little... or a lot... wrong.
When Marvel releases the high-budget version here in a couple of years, everyone can forget (at least those who remember) that there was a bad-beyond-bad version that debuted in 1990, replete with bad accents, bad costumes (the Red Skull has a nose?) and a starring role for Matt Salinger (son of J.D. Yes, that J.D.)
We'd love to know who greenlit this baby, starring Shaquille O'Neal as a guy who welds himself into a suit to take on would-be world dominator Judd Nelson. It's a toss up between this and the number one worst comic book movie, but since Shaq already sports a Superman 'S' tattoo, and starred as a genie in Kazaam, we figure he doesn't need any help from us.
Long before he was ruining his classic Star Wars series with mostly unremarkable prequels, executive producer George Lucas was responsible for unleashing this monstrosity upon the world. Cinema historians agree. Howard the Duck qualifies as both the worst comic book movie and one of the worst movies ever. "Quack Fu," indeed. The title tune, though, is kind of catchy.
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