In Monsters vs. Aliens, DreamWorks pits their most valuable earthly creepers against the most diabolical forces from outerspace. That got us thinking, though, what other big screen smackdowns (of a terrestrial vs. extra-terrestrial nature) would be great to see, and who would win? Take a peek...
By Chuck Walton
Jeff Goldblum's The Fly vs. Jeff Bridges' Starman
It's a match-up that's hard to call. On paper, it's tough to say who's more badass-Goldblum's icky, teleporting Brundle fly, or Bridges' Academy Award-nominated alien. We give Goldblum points for the goo factor, but the shiny little power orb Bridges carries around-which allows him to move through fire, or make it snow-seems to trump everything. Plus, he did bring a deer back to life just by touching it.
King Kong vs. The Borg
Resistance is futile? Tell that to the Kong. Queen Borg and her ilk--part of some esoteric Star Trek "collective"--assimilate life into a single-minded, 'we are the universe' masterplan. But here's where the King gets her. One, there's not much of a mind for her to work with...and two, by the time she tries out that whole 'look into my brain' approach, she'll have already been pounded into oblivion by his big foot.
Swamp Thing vs. The Thing
While we love the cuddly swamp plant monster formerly known as Dr. Arcane, we're compelled to hand a decision to John Carpenter's The Thing. Both made their movie debuts in 1982, but Swampy's grown a bit mossy, and there's no beating The Thing's ability to morph into anything it infests, including the grossest movie combination ever of vampire teeth, spider legs, attack dog, portly scientist and gobbledygoook.
Godzilla vs. Aliens' Xenomorph
For pure tail on talon, grandiose spectacle, this is the mammoth match-up to watch. These two beasts are so evenly matched that it's a toss-up on the victor. Godzilla has more weight to throw around, but with her concentrated acid for blood, and knack for coming back time and again (unless you've got an airlock handy), we never count out this interstellar, scaly b@#ch.
The Gremlins vs. The Ewoks
Here's the thing. The gremlins are more creepy-looking. And that one with the mohawk, well...wow. Still, did you see how Wicket and his buddies stoned those stormtroopers? Such passion and conviction can't be underestimated. Since Gizmo (the Mogwai who spawned the little green bastards) sort of looks like an Ewok, we're thinking he may give his distant cousins some fighting tips.
Wolf Man vs. The Predator
Either way, this terrestrial and extra-terrestrial beastie have the run of the land. We give it to Wolfie in the 40 yard dash. But Predator does have a wrist blaster. And he did nearly make minced meat of Arnold in his prime.
James Cameron's Piranhas vs. James Cameron's N.T.I.s (The Abyss)
Both are water-based. Both can turn on a dime. The piranhas are nastier than nasty. But the 'I' in 'N.T.I.' (Non Terrestrial Intelligence) gives Cameron's morphing friends an edge. Good luck eating water, Mr. Piranhi. From what we saw, the N.T.I.s come in only two forms: H2O and something resembling a spaceship-sized, teflon-plated Ivory Soap bar.
Jaws vs. Jabba the Hut
If it's an eating contest, we're at a loss. It's about habitat then. On land, Jabba just barely wins the mobility award (and he'd probably love a protein-rich, shark fin dinner). In the water, though, he might as well be Pizza the Hut. Whichever way it goes down, we'd love to watch the feeding frenzy.
George Romero's Zombies vs. The Original Cylons
No question, the Cylons rule. Their fashion sense is out of date, and their robotic voices won't cause any nightmares. But the zombies can't move fast enough to dodge the laser blasts, and their teeth aren't sharp enough for that Cylon armor. Some words of advice, zombies-aim for the legs.
Cookie Monster vs. E.T.
If it's a battle for most kid-friendly...hmm, that's tough to call. C.M. gets points for communication skills (by a smidge), but we love the thing E.T. does with his finger (fixing owwies, sweet). Also, C.M. might not be in the best shape-diet and all. We love 'em both, though, so we'll call it a tie.