Have courage and be kind.
Such is the theme of Disney’s new live-action film, Cinderella, and while I generally don’t suggest my kids look to movies for role models and life lessons, it is hard to argue with this message. In fact, it is right in the wheelhouse of empathy and strength that we have championed in our home for a very long time. I can see the phrase easily shooting right to the top of our favorite family mantras, just behind “don’t pee on the toilet seat” and various versions of “get back in bed!”
Have courage and be kind.
That is some wonderful takeaway.
Disney's new Cinderella is exactly what you hope it will be, a poetic story of wishes, tragedy, and love. And yet, it is so much more. Along with its technical evolution from animated sunsets to lush, live-action cinematic landscapes that would give Monet pause, Disney also has allowed its characters to thoughtfully adapt to the changing times. The result not only looks more modern, but feels that way too, because of the new depth of the characters.
In the case of Cinderella that means this princess-to-be is never weak or helpless, but rather strong and resolved despite the hardships that befall her. It means that the evil of her stepmother and stepsisters is not some innate calling of darkness, but rather the mean-spirited angst of fleeting privilege and the overwhelming desperation to better oneself regardless of consequence—okay, that’s still pretty evil, but now we have context. And it means that the prince is slightly less cardboard cutout, while his father is a far more capable monarch.
More than anything, it means that the lines our culture has drawn in the proverbial sand—the labeling of films as gender-specific fodder—should be a thing of the past, even if Disney itself, has yet to realize it. Cinderella may be a “princess movie” but the idea that it is only for girls is far more antiquated than any hoopskirt could ever hope to be. Wouldn’t it be nice if so many people didn’t work so hard to suggest otherwise?
Perhaps that is on us, the audience, and the word we spread by mouth.
I attended a screening of Cinderella with my 11-year-old son, and upon leaving the theater his unsolicited opinion of the film was “It’s awesome!”
“Do you think it’s meant for girls?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” he replied.
“You know how people always like to say something is a girl’s toy or a boy’s toy? They do that with movies, too. People say that a movie like Cinderella is for girls because it’s about a princess.”
He had no idea what I was talking about.
“But it’s about family, too. And being a good person. And magic.”
“I agree with you. To be honest, I love hearing you say that, because you are exactly right.”
“We should have refilled the popcorn,” he added. We were a good block down the sidewalk, and that wasn’t going to happen.
All around us were parents, their little girls dressed in gowns of pink and blue, a bright tiara upon every little head, and smiles that passed between them.
“What else did you like about Cinderella?” I asked.
“The courage,” he said, “and the kindness that they shared.”
“I liked that, too.”
Have courage and be kind.
Those are words to live by, and they are meant, equally, for all of us.
Whit Honea is the author of The Parents’ Phrase Book and his personal website the Honea Express. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, two sons, and too many pets.
