Like this week's Sinister 2 and so many other horror movies before it can attest, haunted houses are only fun in theory. Mostly they're just terrifying – which is the whole point, as restless spirits don't like the living and will do everything they can to possess, attack, or out-and-out kill any interlopers. If you find yourself stuck in a poltergeist-infested abode, however, you might make it 'til daybreak if you follow these six movie rules:

 

1. Keep an expert parapsychologist at your side.

If there's one thing we've learned from haunted house movies, it's that paranormal investigators and their ilk usually survive to tell the tale. Like Ed and Lorraine Warren, the real-life ghost hunters whose exploits are fictionalized in 2013's The Conjuring. Or Tangina Barrons (Zelda Rubinstein), the tiny but fearless medium who goes head to head with "The Beast" in the original 1982 Poltergeist. These people know what they're doing. Dismiss them at your peril.

 

2. Don't act snarky around the supernatural.

Just like in the security line at the airport, mocking the seriousness of the spirit world will only get you into trouble. And if you think being thoroughly searched by TSA agents is bad, it's nothing compared to being decapitated by a malevolent ghoul. (Just ask Owen Wilson's character in the 1999 remake of The Haunting.) In short, show some respect for your ghastly adversaries, and perhaps they'll spare you.

 

3. Oil all the hinges.

When trapped in a haunted house on a dark and stormy night, you need to do everything you can to calm your nerves. Otherwise, you could die of a heart attack before a ghost even knows you're there. If you're the jumpy type, liberally apply a can of household oil to all the house's doors, windows and shutters until nothing creaks anymore. Alas, there's not much you can do about a squeaky floorboard, unless you've got a whole lot of nails.

 

4. Cover all the mirrors.

Mirrors in general are bad news. At the very least, they'll give you a shock when you see an unexpected reflection ("REDRUM," anyone?). At their worst, they're actual demonic items capable of unleashing terror upon the world (see: 2008's Mirrors and The Broken, and 2014's Oculus, below). Vanity has no place in a haunted house. Drape those looking glasses.

 

5. Throw out all the dolls.

Do we need to explain this one? The horrifying clown doll from the first Poltergeist returned for the 2015 remake. Then we have the likes of Annabelle, Chucky, Billy from the Saw movies and Anthony Hopkins' murderous dummy in Magic (1978). Dolls are inherently creepy, and ghosts will possess them for maximum impact. Don't give them any ammunition!

 

6. Finally, don't go it alone.

Sure, there's safety in numbers; you never hear of a ghost wiping out everybody at once. But here's the main thing: even if you did survive a night alone in a haunted house... who would believe you? Take a buddy – and an infrared camera while you're at it. You might wind up with enough choice footage to make your own horror movie.