So you have a ghost problem, and you need a little help. Don’t spend your money on expensive ghost hunters! Everything you need to know you can find in your favorite movies. In honor of Insidious: Chapter 3, here are the best ways to communicate with the dead… according to the movies.
Through a Psychic Medium
As Seen in: Ghost (1990)
Since contacting the dead can be a sticky and unpleasant business (often literally, in the case of ectoplasm and such), it’s often best to consult an expert. Sure, you’re going to find your fair share of fake psychics who claim they can speak with the dead, but if the movies have taught us anything, it’s that even the fake psychics tend to accidentally communicate with ghosts every now and again.
Through a Kid Who Can See Dead People
As Seen in: The Sixth Sense (1998)
If you can’t afford to pay your psychic, there is a budget option. As the movies have shown us, a lot of kids can see and even talk to ghosts. Heck, to a young child, chatting with the dead is totally normal and not-at-all creepy. Just keep an eye on your family in your terrifying new house. If he or she is having extended conversations with empty corners, you may have a new communication option.
By Playing a Board Game
As Seen in: Ouija (2014)
If you want to say hi to a ghost and the local antique/cursed-artifact store is trying to gouge you on that ancient book of séance tips, just drive around the corner to the nearest major chain store and hit up the toy section for a copy of Ouija. Just bust that baby out every time the temperature drops and objects start moving on their own and you’ll get a real conversation going. Just remember that not-so-nice ghouls often like to interrupt, so don’t treat this lightly.
By Watching Television
As Seen in: Poltergeist (1982)
Board games aren’t your thing? That’s cool. But you have a TV, right? Then you’re in luck! Restless spirits love sending creepy messages over the airwaves, so just leave the set on at night and wait for the unsettling voices and imagery to emerge from the static! But be careful… if you happen to have a child capable of communicating with ghosts, there’s a chance she’ll get pulled through the TV and into the otherworld, Poltergeist style.
Through Hypnotism
As Seen in: Stir of Echoes (1999)
Let’s say you are a perfectly ordinary human being whose ghost problem can’t be solved by a psychic or your TV. That’s okay. You have another major option: hypnotism! Yes, you too can pull a Kevin Bacon and let a hypnotist turn your brain into something susceptible. Pretty soon, ghosts will be invading your dreams and crafting special hallucinations just for you. However, you should not approach this lightly -- the spirits probably won’t leave you alone until you’ve solved their murders or something if you take this route.
By Wearing Special Goggles
As Seen in: 13 Ghosts (2001)
Let’s say you’re a scientist. Or maybe you just know a scientist. Or you know a guy who knows a guy. Whatever your access, movies like 13 Ghosts have shown us that we can science our way our of all kinds of ghostly problems. Just get your local paranormally inclined engineer to build you a pair of goggles that allow you to see invisible ghosts in all of their gnarly glory! This is easily the best and easiest option. Everyone knows a scientist, right?
By Visiting Them on Their Home Turf
As Seen in: Insidious (2010)
If you’ve tried every other option on this list and nothing has worked, you still have one option remaining. Journey into the realm of the dead yourself to talk to your ghostly tormenters face-to-face. This will require the help of a psychic and a hypnotist, but maybe you can find a package deal on Groupon. Anyway, all you have to do is take a little nap while your spirit is temporarily coaxed out of your body... and then navigate the shadowy underworld looking for that one guy who is rattling things around in your house. Prepare for this by watching Insidious, Insidious: Chapter 2 and Insidious: Chapter 3.
