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By Robert B. DeSalvo
Our favorite blackout drunks—Stu (Ed Helms), Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis)—return to piece together what happened after another epic night in The Hangover Part III. This time the guys are back at the scene of the first crime, Sin City, as Alan deals with a personal crisis. With the tagline promising "it all ends here" and the Wolfpack trilogy coming to a close, join us in raising our glasses to cinema's most memorable drinkers.
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Nicolas Cage as Ben Sanderson in Leaving Las Vegas
Las Vegas is one of the booziest cities in the world, so it's only logical that suicidal Ben Sanderson would go there with the intention of drinking himself to death. Heck, if he propped himself up at a slot machine and waited for enough complimentary drinks, he could kill himself for free. But Ben does the hard way—at an extended stay motel—and Nicolas Cage earned his only Oscar for it. Cheers to that.
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Dudley Moore as Arthur Bach in Arthur
Arthur is a spoiled alcoholic millionaire who likes to be chauffeured through Central Park. He'll inherit $750 million if he agrees to an arranged marriage, but Arthur instead falls for a Queens waitress played by Liza Minnelli. Inebriated histrionics ensue and, in the end, Arthur is driven away with the money and the girl. You hear that, liquor lovers? If you're funny, you'll be enabled for your bratty behavior.
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Elizabeth Taylor as Martha and Richard Burton as George in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Martha and George have a volatile relationship. He's a professor at a small England college who happens to have married the college president's daughter—a booze-guzzling firecracker who loves to go on tirades and berate her husband for, well, anything. You'd have to be drunk yourself to accept an invitation to Martha's for "fun and games" at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning.
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Robert Hays as Ted Striker in Airplane!
Ex-fighter-pilot-turned-taxi-driver Ted Striker has a very unusual drinking problem in the still-hilarious 1980 spoof of airplane disaster flicks. Not only is he tasked with overcoming his fear of flying to emergency land a commercial airliner, but the would-be drinker can't get a drink down his gullet and always ends up spilling it on his shirt. At least he didn't eat the lethal fish on the plane for dinner.
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Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark
When we first meet Indiana Jones' jaded former lover Marion, she is knocking back shots in her Nepal tavern and drinking her astonished local customers under the table. But Indy clearly appreciates a tough broad who knows how to handle her liquor since he marries Marion in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Now vodka is sold in skull-shaped bottles by Crystal Head. Coincidence?
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Billy Bob Thornton as Willie T. Stokes in Bad Santa
Willie Stokes and Marcus (Tony Cox) are professional heist men who hit a different mall each year with their Santa-and-elf routine and clear out the stores' safe after hours. Willie is an alcoholic and a sex addict, which is at least one too many things to be to play jolly St. Nick. In the end, a bullied child carves him a wooden pickle stained with blood, a gesture that sobers Willie up faster than strong coffee.
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Terrence Stamp as Bernadette in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bernadette is a transsexual crossing the Australian Outback in a bus with two drag queens to do a show. At a bar where one rugged woman mocks them for trying to be "showgirls," Bernadette tells her, "Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart," before outdrinking her unconscious.
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Paul Giamatti as Miles Raymond in Sideways
Miles is an unsuccessful writer who goes away for a weekend with his soon-to-be-married college roommate Jack (Thomas Hayden Church) to the Santa Ynez Valley wine country. When Miles finds out that his latest book has been rejected, he returns to the wine-tasting room at one of his least favorite vineyards and chugs the spittoon when he is refused a full pour. After that, even wine snob Miles would rather choke down merlot.
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Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend
This classic 1945 movie follows a particularly wet period in the life of alcoholic New York writer Don Birnham who fought the good fight for sobriety and lost. Don has a hidden stash of whiskey and goes on frequent binges. Booze isn't cheap, though, and Don is seen stumbling down the street trying to pawn his typewriter. The Academy loves drunks, and the movie scored four Oscars: Best Picture, Director, Writing (Adapted Screenplay) and Actor.
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Mickey Rourke as Henry Chinanski and Faye Dunaway as Wanda in Barfly
This semiautobiographical account of writer Paul Bukowski stars Mickey Rourke as broken-down alcoholic Henry Chinanski who writes poetry and short stories. He supports his drinking with menial jobs and meets Wanda, who, when asked what she does, answers simply, "I drink." What does Henry do when he scores some money for winning a bar fight? He buys a few rounds for Wanda and their fellow barflies, of course.
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Jeff Bridges as Jeff Lebowski in The Big Lebowski
It's true that slacker icon Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski is better known for affinity for the sweet leaf than liquor, but the Dude is a multifaceted individual. His drink of choice is a White Russian, the evidence of which is often found on the Dude's mustache and beard. When his driver gets a little careless behind the wheel, the Dude abides with a, "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"
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Bette Davis as Jane Hudson in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
What happened to Baby Jane Hudson? Well, she grew old in her crumbling mansion with her disabled sister, Blanche (Joan Crawford), whom she tortures by serving her dead canaries for din-din. Fearing the gin is feeding her sister's delusions of stardom, Blanche has the local liquor store cut Jane off. Jane proves that Blanche isn't the only actress in the family by imitating her sister perfectly on the phone and getting delivery reinstated.
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Will Ferrell as Frank Ricard in Old School
After Mitch (Luke Wilson) buys a frat house near their former college, buddy Frank reverts to his notorious boozing ways when he was known as "Frank the Tank" and goes streaking through the neighborhood after a party. Frank's wife wants a divorce, so Frank moves in to the fraternity house where he tries to help Mitch and pal Bernard (Vince Vaughn) meet the dean's criteria so they can stay and further explore their arrested development.
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John Belushi as John "Bluto" Blutarsky in Animal House
John "Bluto" Blutarsky is a drunken degenerate in his seventh year of college at Faber, where he is rocking a 0.0 GPA in this 1978 comedy classic directed by John Landis. Despite Bluto's unimpressive GPA, he comes up with genius ideas when he's trashed, like dumping a horse in the dean's office. In the "where are they now?" film epilogue, it's revealed that Bluto eventually becomes a U.S. senator, which makes total sense.
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Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest
Years after the infamous "no more wire hangers" incident, Joan Crawford visits Christina (Diana Scarwid) in boarding school and snarls at her adopted daughter, "I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze!" But it's Joan who clearly knows where to find the booze in her own home in this pictured scene in which Christina desperately tries to rouse the sauced screen idol.
