If you’re planning to travel backwards or forwards in time, you’ve got to be prepared. Thankfully, being prepared basically involves just watching a bunch of movies. After all, these characters made their mistakes so you wouldn’t have to!
Back the Future (1985): Don’t Let Your Mom Fall in Love with You
As Marty McFly learned the hard way, the most awkward thing that could possibly happen to a young and virile time traveler is to encounter his own mother -- and accidentally have her fall in love with you. So just preempt this by not even trying to talk to the younger version of your parents, if you can help it. But make sure you punch out Biff, though.
The Terminator (1984): Ensure Your Future Still Exists
Here’s the sticky thing about jaunting about through time: Everything you do can change the future in awful, unexpected ways. However, sometimes you have to go out of the way to ensure that the future as you know it still occurs. Like poor Kyle Reese, who had to go back in time so he could fall in love with Sarah Connor, so she could give birth to the man who would send him back in time in the first place. You’ve got to be prepared to go that extra mile.
12 Monkeys (1995): Don’t Look Like a Crazy Person
Time traveling can be a disorienting process. When you’re going may not be ready for you. Take a lesson from James Cole, who went back in time to stop a plague from wiping out the human race and ended up locked in an asylum because, well, he said he was from the future. When it comes to stating mission objectives, less is more.
Looper (2012): Keep an Eye on Your Older Self
You need to be responsible for your actions. That’s good advice in any situation, but it’s especially important advice for a time traveller who may find him or herself actually encountering a version of themselves from another time. After all, sometimes the older version of yourself shows up with violent intentions and it’s up to you to handle the situation. Take care of yourself, even if it means, uh, taking care of yourself.
Star Trek (2009): Make Sure You Don’t Reset the Whole Timeline
Once upon a time, Captain Kirk and his crew had decades of adventures under their belts. They were living legends. And then some really angry Eric Bana-looking alien had to come back in time and blow up the wrong ship, at the wrong time. And then, boom -- all those years of history vanished without a trace. So listen up, time traveler: be responsible. Don’t delete entire franchises.
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989): Be Careful When You Abduct Historical Icons
Look, some people are going to use time travel for selfish reasons. That’s okay. This is a no-judgment zone. However, if you decide that abducting historical figures to help you with your history class is an idea worth pursuing, make sure you’re prepared. Take everything Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan do and try to do the exact opposite!
Back to the Future Part II (1989): Don’t Run Into Yourself
Remember how we talked about keeping the older version of yourself in line? Well, the opposite is equally true. There is no good reason ever to encounter your younger self while time traveling because nothing good can come of it. In this instance, you are your own worse enemy. Literally.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986): Do Something Good with Your Future Knowledge
Of the many things one can do with time travel, it’s always okay if your actions benefit mankind – past, present or future. Especially if going back in time to save extinct whales helps save your world from destruction at the hands of a probe that looks like a really big oil drum.
Timecop (1994): Don’t Do Anything Jean-Claude Van Damme Wouldn’t Do
If you are ever in doubt about anything during the course of your time trip, ask yourself: “WWJCVD?” That, of course, means “What would Jean-Claude Van Damme do?” After all, Mr. Van Damme held the title position in the movie Timecop, and if a Timecop does it, then surely it’s okay. It’s in the job description.
Donnie Darko (2001): Don’t Get Too Confused
Time travel can get really, really confusing. Just ask Donnie Darko, who spends way too much time fumbling through alternate timelines only to literally end up exactly where he started. Sometimes, it’s just better to go with the flow. Sometimes, that flow involves an airplane engine landing on you but, hey -- at least it’s not a particularly confusing way to go out.
