LORDS OF SALEM SUCKED!!!(Not for KIDS or ANYONE!!)

By dw1215
Written May 27, 2016
Another excuse for Zombie to think we all want to see his wife naked or semi naked throughout the entire movie. Fine if making a porno, but this movie truely was below a "B" movie. A piece of trash that dragged on. Only 4 people dared to view it while I was there and all of us got up saying, OUT LOUD, "WOW THAT REALLY SUCKED". His trashing of Christianity beliefs while parading around a group of old saggy women naked head to toe, was more horriffic than the premise of the movie itself. Watching Sheri be a well versed crackhead, and waking up face down naked or with elastic waist shorts down around her aging butt, for no apparent reason other than when she sleeps her clothes just mysteriously fall off, was like aluminum foil on old teeth fillings... Aluminum foil has many good uses, just none worthy of speaking of inside your own mouth... the mix of bad animation and neon signs and neon DILDOS In Satans Court was just a touch of the worthlessness that made this "film" unwatchable CRAP!
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Bummer

By sixgunriot
Written May 04, 2016
You know that one guy in school you always wanted to see succeed at something? Like the chubby dude who put ketchup in their mashed potato's? Then you go to a birthday party thinking "Maybe he'll be awesome at bowling, up, no, he just **** his pants."? What about the kid who always smelled like old people you thought was just "too artsy" or "weird" for others to get but you? Then that SAME dude gets expelled for jerking off on a school bus while everyone's all like "See, I Told you so."? That's how I felt while watching this movie. Although I do enjoy most of Zombie's work, this film and Halloween 2 will probably never make it to my personal collection. I'll always have a major crush on Sheri though. Call me? EM
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PLEASE DON'T..!!!!!!

By cardenitas
Written January 25, 2015
Really? Rob Zombie still think this kind of crap is scary? Is so bad and ridiculous that is kind of funny. Please don't waste your money....!!!!!
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TLoS

By harryjamespotter
Written May 25, 2016
this film is a slow burn, so don't go to it expecting to get a fast paced Slasher movie. it's eerie & heavy with symbolic imagery; much like the grindhouse Satanic Horror movies from the '70's. anyone who has seen The Shining, The Exorcist & Rosemary's Baby will pick-up on the nods to each. some people will dismiss this as a chaotic mess, but it's clear what Rob's vision was & he puts it on the screen & very well, i think. again, check your expectations at the door: don't expect the goofy camp of House of 1,000 Corpses, the sheer brutality of The Devil's Rejects & definitely not the stab-a-thon which was the Halloween movies; The Lords of Salem is its own animal. enjoy.
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Dissappointed

By stasea528
Written February 27, 2015
I am one of the biggest fans of Rob Zombies movies. I love them . I went into this movie expecting something awesome and was so dissapointed. It was so slow to the point of boring. It was so predictable and just horrible. It did not feel like a Rob Zombie film at all. I love Sheri Moon Zombie but I feel as if she was not the right choice for the lead character. The cinematography and how the witch scenes are done are good but it just doesn't carry the movie. I hate to say this but I do not recomend this movie at all.
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