Written
February 9, 2013
Faux ?modern filmic style? trying to distract us from inept storytelling.
SPIDERS 3-D should be titled SPIDERS 2.25-D since there is just not enough depth in the film to qualify it as 3D at all.
This film is actually a remake of the Boaz Davison-written 2000 rip-off called SPIDERS. Like the original film, a satellite holding a genetic experiment falls back to earth -- only, this time, landing in New York City
or, more accurately, onto the same three block Bulgarian NY backlot set that we will see over & over.
The normal tarantula-sized subjects scuttle out of their wrecked cylinder and quickly start ravaging the denizens of the NY subway system -- starting with rats and then working their way up to a hapless subway worker within whose body they plant their queen?s egg!
Then, of course, the spiders (bred in a zero-gravity orbit, mind you) begin growing to considerable size
for no reason.
Cut to the subway system manager, Jason (Patrick Muldoon), examining the dead worker?s sliced open corpse, and from there we go.
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4
out of
4
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