Don't feel like surfing through multiple sites to get caught up on today's movie news? Fear not, my friends – welcome to Quick Hits, where you'll surely be able to devour the latest news way faster than it takes you to say, "Hey, how come a movie called Funny People wasn't really that funny?"
The Apatow Clan's Adventure – Though Judd Apatow has nothing to do with the film, his offspring Jonah Hill and Jason Segel will be teaming up with Jason Schwartzman on a movie called The Adventurer's Handbook, about three bored-with-their-lives guys who decide to head out on some adventure and watch hilarity ensue. [The Hollywood Reporter]
'The Orphanage' to be Remade – Remember that creepy little foreign flick called The Orphanage that was produced by Guillermo del Toro? Well, they're bringing us an American remake and it'll be directed by Larry Fessenden. Good news is that Fessenden wrote the script with del Toro, who's also producing this version – so with a little luck it will turn out just as creepy. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Holy 'Machete' Casting – First it was a fake trailer that played during Grindhouse, and now it's becoming a real feature film, complete with one of the wildest ensemble casts we've seen in some time. Joining Danny Trejo (who plays a machete-wielding Mexican ex-Federale) are Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey. Robert Rodriguez will co-direct. Um, now is that cast unbelievably awesome or what? [Variety]
'Cirque Du Freak' Trailer Arrives Online – Actually, the full title is Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, and the thing just looks freaky as all hell. Yes, it's about a vampire (played by John C. Reilly), but it's finally a cool vampire tale (instead of all these boring love stories) – one that follows a freak show vamp who takes a bored teenager under his wing. Check out the trailer over on Moviefone, and some new images from the film right here on Fandango.
Hanks Won't Star in Spielberg's 'Harvey' – The other day we reported that Steven Spielberg had chosen to remake the 1950 flick Harvey as his next project – and that Tom Hanks and Will Smith were at the top of the cast list. Well, Hanks officially declined, but only because he feels he's too close to James Stewart, who starred in the original. Kudos to Hanks, though, for admitting he's the expected choice and then declining. And double kudos for declining a Spielberg movie! [Variety]
Watch This Heath Ledger-Directed Music Video – A couple months ago we told you about a music video for Modest Mouse that was directed by Heath Ledger before he passed away. With help from director Terry Gilliam (who provided the animation), Ledger helmed the video for King Rat. It's odd and neat and pretty wonderful – watch it over at MySpace.
"Welcome to the party, pal."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
"When am I gonna learn how to punch?"
"These go to eleven."
"Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face & neck?"
"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
"Jessica's got cable."
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