When comic books, video games and old TV shows run dry, it's time to turn our attention to our favorite fairytales – like what Leonardo DiCaprio is doing with Little Red Riding Hood. The actor's Appian Way production company has assigned Orphan screenwriter David Leslie Johnson to write a new Gothic reimagining of Little Red Riding Hood, though DiCaprio himself is not lining it up as a potential starring vehicle for himself … so get those images of him as a motion-captured talking wolf out of your head right now.
Little Red Riding Hood, of course, is based on the 19th century Brothers Grimm tale about a little girl with a red hood who's attempting to deliver some food to her sick grandmother in the forest. See, I always had a problem with this tale because whose grandmother lives in the middle of a forest? That's just weird. Anyway, while on her journey, she's stalked by a big bad wolf who eats her grandmother and then poses as the old woman in order to trick the little girl, too.
Several different versions have since entered the world, with some concluding with the wolf eating Little Red Riding Hood, and others ending with the girl defeating the wolf. There's no word on how DiCaprio imagines this to play out, and whether they'll even be a wolf, or perhaps they'll replace the animal with a wolf-like human predator. Obviously this could go in a number of directions – what would you like to see out of a new Gothic-inspired Little Red Riding Hood?
"Welcome to the party, pal."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
"When am I gonna learn how to punch?"
"These go to eleven."
"Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face & neck?"
"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
"Jessica's got cable."
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