This week, the Alamo Drafthouse goes canoeing with Crispin Glover, Peter Falk, and…Neil Patrick Harris?

 The Alamo Drafthouse has quickly garnered a reputation as one of the greatest movie theaters in the history of mankind…or at least the history of movie theaters. With their signature events, ample food and drink selection, and strict no-talking policy, they make obsolete all tawdry multiplexes and completely redefine the movie-going experience. Here’s what they’re up to this week!
Thursday July 7th
Summer Kids Camp: The Muppet Movie
Alamo Lake Creek 10:30am
It’s time to get up early. It’s time to bring the kids. It’s time to pay no money to see one awesome Muppet adventure. Bursting with more huge celebrity cameos than you can shake a banjo at, The Muppet Movie is among the greatest family films in existence.
Summer Kids Camp: Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Alamo South Lamar 10:45am
Britain’s favorite cheese-loving klutz and his faithful canine companion are back, and this time…it’s feature-length! When the villagers’ prized vegetables turn up brutally munched, the two best/only exterminators in town are called in. But what they discover is a nightmare of the most adorable persuasion.
The Justin Timberlake Sing-Along
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
Don’t be so quick to walk away, this sing-along in particular promises to rock your body so please stay. With your help, and the utter pop majesty that is JT, we can once and for all bring sexy back. Get your tickets early or cry me a river because you were left out of all the fun.
Celebrity Guests: Crispin Glover Live: It Is Fine! Everything is Fine
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“Glover uses his visionary cinematic skills to bring to life the graphically explicit psychosexual fantasy world of a man shunned by women and society but who lusts after intimacy, acceptance, and long hair. The beauty of his direction is his ability to create an atmosphere that is strange and unsettling, yet sensual and erotic. Through Stewart's caustic fantasy life, Glover subverts the conventional devices of a suspense film and creates an audacious statement on the conundrum of sexual politics from an outsider's perspective."— Trevor Groth, Sundance via
The Justin Timberlake Sing-Along
Alamo Ritz 10:45pm
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: He may be one of the weirdest men in Hollywood, but one should never turn down the opportunity to see Crispin Glover live and in person. If the events he’s hosting are half as disturbing as they sound, we are all in for an ugly, wonderful treat.
Friday July 8th
Summer Kids Camp: Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Alamo Lake Creek (thru 7/14) 11:00am
Celebrity Guests: Crispin Glover Live: What Is It?
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“Crispin Hellion Glover performs a one-hour dramatic narration of eight different profusely illustrated books. The images from the books are projected behind Mr. Glover during his performance.”—
Master Pancake: New Moon
Alamo Lake Creek (thru 7/9) 7:00pm; 10:00pm
If any film franchise deserved a savage thrashing at the hands of the Master Pancake crew, it’s Twilight. Come thrill as the Alamo’s resident comedy team point out the innumerable faults of the second entry in the series that got virtually everything wrong about vampires, werewolves, and believable human beings.
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: The sheer amount of crap packed into New Moon provides absolutely endless fodder for the comedic titans of Master Pancake. I would highly recommend brining any Twi-hards you know and reveling in their misery as they leave the theater in tears.
Saturday July 9th
The Ultimate Deliverance Canoe Trip
The Guadalupe Canoe Livery, Spring Branch, TX 3:00pm
Getting fully immersed in the overall experience of Deliverance will sound to some like the greatest idea in the world, and sound to most like the worst possible idea. Regardless, the Drafthouse is offering the opportunity to see the ultimate bromance gone-awry from inside a canoe after paddling down a river and enjoying a succulent whole roasted pig dinner. Banjoes are mandatory.
Celebrity Guests: Lennon and Garant Day
Alamo South Lamar 4:00pm
“Join two of the most successful idiots in comedy today, Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, who have a hilarious new book out called "Writing Movies for Fun and Profit”. They're hitting the road to promote it. We are huge fans of Reno 911!, The State, Viva Variety, and many more of their projects so we were of course, eager to have them out. They will be joining us for a special day of shows at the Alamo South Lamar.”—
The Princess Bride Quote-Along Peter Falk Memorial
Alamo Ritz 6:45pm
Recently the world lost a true Hollywood legend in Peter Falk. To celebrate the life of this great man, the Alamo Drafthouse is hosting a very special Quote-Along of The Princess Bride; featuring one of Falk’s most endearing and heart-warming performances.
Rolling Roadshow: Bottle Rocket
Days Inn, Hillsboro, TX 9:00pm
“Wes Anderson's debut feature has long held a special place in our hearts. There are so many reasons to love Bottle Rocket, but mostly we love this heist comedy about a trio of young, shiftless Texans in existential crisis trying in vain to become hardened criminals because it's damn funny. So, when we heard that the Days Inn on I-35 in Hillsboro, Texas -- a major location in the movie -- was in danger of shuttering forever we knew we had to step up and join our friends from Reservoir Geeks in their efforts to save the iconic indie film location.”—
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Alamo Village 11:55pm
Thrill to all the cheap laughs, cheap women, and cheap production values of one of the world’s premier bad movies. Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show in-and-of-itself is an event, but it takes on a whole new life when witnessed within the walls of The Alamo Village with loads of audience participation, dressed-up patrons, and general wickedness that has become a vital component to the film’s meteoritic rise to cult film legend. 
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: This is one of the greatest collective Saturdays that the Alamo has ever put together. I would strongly advise taking part in as many of these events as time will permit.
Sunday July 10th
Stag! Live Sketch Comedy
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“Summer is the time for big ass sequels, so Stag Comedy is back with an all-new sketch comedy explosion! Created by Joe Parsons of Master Pancake Theater, Stag Comedy Episode 4: Sweaty Meringue features a seamless mix of live and video sketches. Their last two debuts sold out, so this time they’re kicking down your door with two shows! That’s twice the amount of violent lawyers, street gangs, dino-ducks, helpful wrestlers, AND FUN. So join Joe, David, Mac, Ximena, Dave, and Andrew for the funniest show(s) of the year.”—
Only At The Alamo: Blank City
Alamo Ritz 10:30pm
Blank City is an artist’s history of New York in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, when No Wave was the buzzword and low rent was the means of survival. In Downtown Manhattan, artists were living in abandoned, burnt down apartments and forming a community inspired by this dangerous wasteland. This documentary uses firsthand interviews and archival footage to tell the story of musicians like Patti Smith, Television, Richard Hell & The Voidoids, The Contortions, The Bush Tetras, and Sonic Youth and filmmakers of the “Cinema of Transgression” like Jim Jarmusch, Steve Buscemi, Richard Kern, Amos Poe, James Nares, Eric Mitchell, Susan Seidelman, Beth B, Scott B, Charlie Ahearn and Nick Zedd. Definitely a must see documentary for those interested in independent art.”—
Monday July 11th
Summer Kids Camp: How To Train Your Dragon 3D
Alamo South Lamar (thru 7/14) 10:50am; 11:00am (7/13)
When it comes to quality family films, Dreamworks has long had to reside in the cold shadow of Pixar. Time after time they have finished a distant second in this race as Pixar’s win streak rose to the utterly ridiculous level. But How To Train Your Dragon is THE film that casts a speck of doubt on Pixar’s unquestionable supremacy. Full of stunning effects, wonderful voice acting, and legitimately heart-lifting moments that don’t feel forced, How To Train Your Dragon is an absolute triumph.
Alamo South Lamar 7:00pm
“Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother, Rent), Patti LuPone (Evita, Gypsy, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown), Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report), Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men) star in Steven Sondheim's Company, one of the greatest pieces of musical theatre ever written. Produced by the New York Philharmonic, this Tony award-winning musical was recorded live at New York Lincoln Center’s famed Avery Fisher Hall and is now being presented in high-definition video and sound across the country.  Now we can experience the marvellous New York theatre all the way in Texas - and there's no better show to do that with than Company.”—
Only At The Alamo: Make Believe
Alamo Ritz 7:30pm
“This amazing documentary exposes the steamy and high-stakes world of teenage magic competitions as it follows six adolescent outsiders who all share an extraordinary passion for the art of trickery. Armed with great skill and a dazzling array of illusions, these teenagers embark from all over the world to attend the annual World Magic Seminar in Las Vegas, where they each hope to be named Teen World Champion by master magician Lance Burton.  From the producers of the fabulous King of Kong, this film will leave you inspired and dumbfounded, as it showcases some of the most incredible, eccentric young performers working today.”—
Music Monday: Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage
Alamo Ritz 9:50pm
“Amazing as it may seem, Rush trails only The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Aerosmith for the most consecutive gold or platinum albums by a rock band. The band has sold more than 40 million records worldwide and garnered untold legions of devoted and admiring fans. This critically acclaimed film explores the forty-year career and phenomenon behind what could be the world’s biggest cult band.  Featuring never-before-seen archival footage and interviews with notables such as Jack Black, Billy Corgan, Trent Reznor, Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters), Kirk Hammett (Metallica) and Gene Simmons, this film is sure to please RUSH die-hards and those who are just discovering the Canadian Prog-rock band that brought us “Tom Sawyer” and countless other gems.”—
Only At The Alamo: Blank City
Alamo Lake Creek (thru 7/12) 10:00
The Big Lebowski Quote-Along
Alamo South Lamar 10:25pm
If you love the Cohen Brothers’ tribute to shiftless losers with mad bowling skills and penchants for Creedence Clearwater Revival, this is the place to be. All your favorite one-liners from The Dude will flash across the screen to prompt your collective vocal worship of this masterful comedy.
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: One of the great things about the Alamo is the sheer amount of differing types of entertainment it provides its patrons. Adding live theater to their repertoire, the Drafthouse’s presentation of Company is not to be missed.
Tuesday July 12th
Girlie Night: Troop Beverly Hills
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“You know how most girls dabble in Girl Scouts but never make it past the Brownie level because you actually have to work to earn patches and the uniforms are, let's be frank, kind of heinous? Well, I actually stayed in my troop until I was in the eighth grade, which yes, was incredibly lame. You know why? Because there was a part of me that secretly hoped and wished and prayed that Phyllis Nefler would show up with her flaming red hair and crazy harlequin pastel dress and take charge of my troop so we could earn patches in Shoe Shopping and Diamond Inspection and go camping at the Beverly Hills Hotel and make fondue because AWESOME!!!!!”—Sarah Pitre via
Argentina Futbol Club
Alamo Village 7:15pm
“Singing.  Shouting.  Hysteria.  Argentina lives for fútbol.  The battle between Boca Juniors and River Plate is not just about sports; it is an ever-enduring struggle for identity.  In Buenos Aires, historic tensions swell not only between legendary clubs Boca and River but among their intense followers. For these fútbol fanatics, the game symbolizes strength, unity, and power in a society beset by stark social and economic divisions. Through a journalistic lens, this film provides an intimate look into Argentina and its beloved sport to reveal an unparalleled passion that reverberates far beyond the pitch.  Argentina Fútbol Club was directed by acclaimed Argentine Director Juan Pablo Roubio, and co-written and co-produced by, Gavin P. Sullivan. Sullivan will be on hand for Q&A.”—
Terror Tuesday: Prison
Alamo Ritz 9:50pm
“NOT AVAILABLE ON DVD! First things first: THIS MOVIE IS INSANE. Viggo Mortensen (!) stars as freshfaced convict Burke, one of hundreds of inmates to be relocated to a maximum security prison haunted by a vengeful, omnipotent force that will stop at nothing short of total annihilation. To dismiss the entity as simply a “ghost” would be like referring to Eric Clapton as “white.” Like Clapton, the evil runs much, much deeper than that. This paranormal maniac is pure spectral violence unleashed, using every method possible to rend all life from the face of the earth. Witness countless creative fatalities as cops and cons alike are broiled, decapitated, lacerated, mutilated, fileted, electrocuted and sliced to ribbons by autonomous razorwire! Not recommended to anyone who respects either police or human beings.”—Zack Carlson via
Wednesday July 13th
AFS Doc Tour: The First Movie
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“Smiling children acting goofy in front of a camera, playing and then fighting with balloons, telling charming stories about animals, and giggling at bovine flatulence. Sheep and goats on hillsides, skies achingly blue, green groves of trees and plants, a river running through a village. All these images conjure up a bucolic scene, which could be in any number of countries in the world. But certainly not in Iraq. Yet, that is where Mark Cousins’ lovely documentary The First Movie is set, albeit in a village in the north in the Kurdish region, seemingly far from the Sunni/Shia sectarian battles.”—
Team America: World Police Quote-Along
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
In celebration of our nation’s birthday, the Alamo spotlights all the best aspects of America: making fun of celebrities, absurd levels of action violence, and puppet sex. As much as you might want to, as much as Matt and Trey’s marionette masterpiece may tempt you, it is simply not safe to quote this movie at work. Therefore, come to the Alamo Drafthouse and shout encouragement to the World Police as they show the terrorists their game is through.
The Ultimate Rock Sing-Along
Alamo Village 9:45pm
Leather pants? Check. Righteous Axe? Check. Gigantic hair? Double Check. This sing-along will prove once and for all that we do love rock-and-roll and want to engage in it all night while also partying every day. Stretch your vocal chords before hand for the blistering power solos.
Weird Wednesday: Riot on Sunset Strip
Alamo Ritz 9:45pm
“Hilariously misguided and fun “expose” of the youth problem. This is definitely a bad movie but as bad movies go it’s sublime. Gorgeous Mimsy Farmer (THE ROAD TO SALINA), a walking tornado of virginal innocence and sex appeal if there ever was one, plays the estranged daughter of police captain Aldo Ray. When she falls in with the wrong crowd of hot-rodding, pot smoking kids, there’s going to be trouble on the Sunset Strip. This movie is ludicrously old fashioned (producer Sam Katzman had been in the business since 1914) but it’s also strangely vital and exciting. A lot of the credit goes to Mimsy, whose LSD freakout dance sequence is a highlight of human history. If there was a drug that could make life exactly like this movie I would smoke it every day. Featuring The Chocolate Watchband, The Standells and The Enemies. Plus King Of Fuzz Davie Allan brings his guitar to the party. Miss this and you’re just stupid!”—Lars Nilsen via
            West Oaks
            Only At The Alamo: Trigun Badlands Rumble
            7/9 10:00pm
“In a town surrounded by quicksand, an outlaw from Vash the Stampede’s past has resurfaced after twenty years. His name is Gasback – and he’s looking to cause a little trouble. It seems Gasback has a serious beef with the town’s mayor, who’s paying dozens of bounty hunters to protect his turf. One of those hired guns is a beautiful woman with a vendetta against Gasback. Will she get a shot at revenge? Maybe, if she can get through Gasback’s bodyguard, Wolfwood. And what’s Vash got to do with this mess? Nothing much – except for the fact that he personally set off the entire chain of events two decades ago!”—
            Only At The Alamo: Anime
            7/12 7:30pm
The Alamo Drafthouse provides a welcome haven for fans of Japanese animation. Samurai swords must unfortunately be checked at the door.
Hecklevision: Johnny Mnemonic
            7/13 7:30pm
What gives you the right to mock Johnny Mnemonic? Oh wait, that’s right, it’s terrible. If you think you’ve crafted just the right jab at this Keanu Reeves catastrophe, come to the Alamo and see your texted jokes appear on the screen. Extra points if your joke also obscures any of the countless scenes of utter garbage.
Mason Park
            Free Family Fun: Ponyo
            7/7-7/8 11:00am
All throughout the summer, the Alamo is offering kids, and parents, the chance to catch quality family fare on the big screen just as they were intended. Based on The Little Mermaid, Ponyo is a wild, beautiful fantasy directed by the celebrated Hayao Miyazaki.
            The Justin Timberlake Sing-Along
            7/7 7:30pm
            Celebrity Guests: Crispin Glover Live: It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine
            7/9 7:00pm
            Free Family Fun: The Corpse Bride
            7/11-7/15 11:00am
            Girlie Night: Troop Beverly Hills
            7/12 7:30pm
San Antonio
            Only At The Alamo: Anime
            7/11 7:30pm
            Park North
            Free Family Fun: The Corpse Bride
            7/9 11:30am
            The Justin Timberlake Sing-Along
            7/10 7:00pm
            Big Screen Classics: Full Metal Jacket
            7/12 7:30pm
One of the greatest war movies ever made returns to the big screen. Along with showcasing entirely new facets of the horrors of the Vietnam War, Stanley Kubrick’s military masterpiece launched the careers of Vincent D’Onofrio and Hollywood’s go-to drill sergeant R. Lee Ermey.
            Celebrity Guests: Crispin Glover Live: What Is It?
            7/13 7:00pm
Stone Oak
            Free Family Fun: How To Train Your Dragon 3D
            7/9 11:30am
            Girlie Night: Troop Beverly Hills
            7/10 4:30pm; 7:15pm
            Celebrity Guests: Crispin Glover Live: It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine
            6/12 7:00pm
Winchester, VA
Only at the Alamo: A Very Special Episode
            7/7 8:40pm
Sitcoms are a strange animal. They create worlds in which a girl can have two dads, where former football stars could adopt tiny little black kids, and fresh princes can live in Bel-Air. And yet, despite this disconnect from reality, it seemed every sitcom had that “very special” episode wherein they touched upon, often very inappropriately, serious issues. Come enjoy all the hilarious discomfort!
            The Road Warrior Party
            7/12 8:30pm
Do you love The Road Warrior? At this point I’ve already hurled the one guy that said no under the moving wheels of a big rig so the answer is a unanimous yes. In addition to trivia, which will prove your status as the Ayatollah of Rock-n-Rolla, there will also be a post-apocalyptic costume contest and free boomerangs!
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