One of the main reasons Star Wars has remained so popular over the years is its merchandising. Everything from comic books and trading cards to bed sheets and lunch boxes – and toys, of course – have kept fans surrounded by the name and its iconic imagery since the beginning.
Much of this merch has been successful and, for the most part, tasteful. In nearly four decades, though, some oddities have understandably slipped through the cracks. Below is a chronological look at the oddest of them all.
The Early Bird Certificate Package
One of the hottest gifts of the 1977 holiday season was basically an empty box. The Kenner toy company realized too late that they should produce an action figure line based on the first movie, and so none were ready by the December holidays. In a strange but ingenious decision, they decided to sell an “early bird” package consisting of a cardboard display stand, a few stickers, a fan club membership card and, most importantly, a mail-in certificate to send away for the first four figures – Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and R2-D2 – which would be home-delivered once ready in early 1978. The idea worked, but it was still weird.
Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album
It wasn’t enough that an all-disco version of the Star Wars film score released in 1977 became a huge hit. Producer Meco Monardo’s 1980 follow-up was even more ridiculous. Sure, Star Wars had already had a holiday TV special, and a Christmas album doesn’t seem so far removed. However, the songs on Christmas in the Stars, which include “What Do You Get a Wookie for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb),” are the kind of novelty tunes you expect from parody artists, not an officially licensed tie-in. The strangest thing about the album, though, is that it features a then-unknown Jon Bon Jovi singing lead on the track titled “R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”
C-3PO Tape Dispenser
Ceramics company Sigma produced a number of fine Star Wars collectibles in the early 1980s, including cookie jars, banks, mugs and household and office supplies. Among the supplies is a truly bizarre tape dispenser featuring C-3PO sort of straddling the roll of tape in a kick-back position uncharacteristic of the Droid. Despite being so – well, awkward, it is now a highly sought-after item.
The Power of the Force Action Figures
In 1995, Kenner began manufacturing a new line of Star Wars action figures after a decade of their absence. Instead of going with the same or similar designs to what they had done successfully in the past, they incorporated the 1990s trend of more bulky-bodied figures. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Darth Vader, Lando Calrissian and even Princess Leia figurines looked like bodybuilders. Even worse for the Leia figure, her face bore no likeness to the character in the movie, and fans popularized a nickname for the toy: “Monkey-Face Leia.” The weirdest thing about the figures, arguably, was their accessories. When did Han have a “smuggler fight pack”?
Jar Jar Binks Tongue Lollipop
The designers of the infamous Jar Jar tongue pop from Cap Candy probably thought fans would find it as funny and charming as George Lucas expected them to find the character himself. The wacky, slapstick CG creature was always getting his long tongue stuck where it shouldn’t be. Now kids could pretend to bite it off with a hard-candy version of the goofy Gungun. In theory, well, okay. In reality, it’s gross, maybe even a little inappropriate.
Jabba Glob
Another gross item that came out around the release of the first prequel, The Phantom Menace, this Jabba the Hutt toy was part of the trend to involve slimy goop in some capacity. Here, it’s yellow-green material placed inside the character’s body that emerges from his mouth. The strange thing is, as nasty as Jabba was, especially while eating his frog snacks, he never vomited yellow goo from his mouth. He wouldn’t have been taken so seriously as an organized crime leader if that was the case.
Darth Vader Toasters
Plenty of Star Wars merch involves some sort of practical product made in the likeness of a character or vehicle from the movies, so a toaster shaped like Darth Vader’s head wouldn’t be that weird on its own. The one from Pangea Brands, however, doesn’t merely toast your bread, bagels, waffles, etc. It also burns the Star Wars logo into each slice. There’s also another normal-shaped toaster with the logo on the side that burns Darth Vader’s face into each slice. Both are good fodder for “I like my toast on the dark side” jokes.
Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
When the website ThinkGeek.com featured a sleeping bag inspired by the Tauntaun creature from The Empire Strikes Back as a gag on April Fool’s Day in 2009, the joke was how gross this idea for a kid’s product would be -- you’re snug inside the animal’s guts, just like Luke Skywalker was, to avoid hypothermia. Unexpectedly, Star Wars fans saw it as a humorous yet clever homage and demand was high enough that the website actually produced the sleeping bags. They’re still being sold. And they’re still gross.
Darth Vader Dark Side T-Shirt
This year, Target began selling a new Star Wars T-shirt for boys featuring Darth Vader from the opening scene of the first movie accompanied by the following text: “I brought the Dark Side. What did you bring?” The strange thing is that Luke Skywalker also appears in the shot from the movie, in place of Princess Leia, who is actually in the position in the scene. Following an outcry from fans and a lot of media attention about the shirt being sexist, Target pulled the item from shelves.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Money
A few years ago, the small, South Pacific island nation of Nieu began producing authorized collectible Star Wars coins through the New Zealand Mint, and while not released into circulation as such, they are technically legal tender for the country. On the “heads” side of these Nieu Dollar coins is the traditional image of Queen Elizabeth II, and on the “tails” side is an image of a Star Wars character in full color. This year, they have “classic” Two Dollar coins with Darth Vader on the “tails” side as well as Star Wars: The Force Awakens Two Dollar coins featuring new heroine Rey and new villains Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma. They cost a lot more than $2, of course, but if you try to buy anything with them in Nieu, that’s all they’ll be worth.
