The Five: 80s Movies They Should Never Remake

When you take a look at the movies opening in theaters this weekend, it feels like we're back in the mid-80s, what with a remake of 1984's The Karate Kid and an adaptation of the popular 80's television show The A-Team squaring off against one another in search of the most amount of box office dollars. And these aren't the first two 80s throwback movies to crop up in 2010. Just last month we had the MaGuyver spoof MacGruber, and the month before that saw a remake of the iconic 80's horror flick A Nightmare on Elm Street.

So, yeah, Hollywood has definitely become obsessed with '80s movies (probably because most of today's Hollywood executives grew up during that timeframe), but at what point do they need to stop and stay away from our beloved 80's classics? Here are five 80's films we better not see pop up in some sort of remake form… like, ever.
 
'Back to the Future'Back to the Future – As one of my favorite films of all time, it's easy for me to put Back to the Future at the top of any list of films that should never ever be remade. I'm fine with movies about time travelers (I happen to like that particular plot point), but aside from a relationship between a teenage boy and an older doctor feeling slightly weird and out of place in 2010, no one could ever take on the roles of Marty McFly and Doc Brown other than Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd. To replace those two should be against the law.
 
The Breakfast Club – There are some films that just speak to a certain generation, and The Breakfast Club is one of those. With its totally '80s soundtrack, this is one film that simply belongs to another time. And that's cool – we can still watch it and appreciate it all we want – but to attempt a remake now would feel weird and out of place. Plus, do kids even get sent to detention anymore?
 
Gremlins – They've talked about another Gremlins movie, but I just don't see how you do it. The original (and its sequel, to a certain extent) will always be remembered for their cheesy plots and practical special effects. To make a Gremlins movie now where the little monsters are all in CG would be like killing the fun, retro spirit of those original movies. I say no way, can't happen!
 
The Goonies – Personally, I'd like to see another movie that contains the spirit of The Goonies, just not a remake. These days films aimed at kids are usually based on some massive franchise of novels, but back in the 80s we had original stories featuring kids who didn't have the internet or an iPod. Nope, they had their bikes, and whatever bizarre adventure turned up that day. Plus, Goonies featured a specific ensemble cast that would be tough to recreate in 2010. Where you gonna find a new Chunk in this day and age?
 
'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'Ferris Bueller's Day Off – When you have a movie that's centered on an iconic character expertly played by an actor who delivers a beyond memorable performance, it's pretty much impossible to recast the role no matter how far removed we are from the film's original release date two decades ago. There's only one Ferris Bueller, period. End of sentence.
 
Which '80s films do think should remain in the '80s and never be remade?

 

 

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