Marrieds at the Movies - 'The Internship:' You Can Count on Me

Every Friday night, Movies.com sends cinephiles (and newlyweds) Sarah and Joe Piccirillo to see a film. Afterwards, they answer a few questions about it. Below is their discussion.

 

The Internship

Synopsis: After being laid off from their sales job, Billy (Vince Vaughn) and Nick (Owen Wilson) land an internship at Google. Can two middle-aged, analog guys compete with dozens of techie millennials?

 

Was this a good date movie?

Joe: Well, ya know, it depends on what you mean by "date." Do you mean a blind date for Suzie who’s never been out for a night on the town? Then, no, you don’t take Suzie to the matinee; you take Suzie out for the Night. Of. Her. Life. Suzie’s so excited she runs home and yells, “Oh my God!” and then she quits school -- cause she was going to grad school -- she quits school, and moves in with you. Then, bam, it’s two years later and you come home from work and Suzie’s telling you the magic is gone -- the magic that you showed her on that first date. But maybe this is another kind of date. Maybe you’ve been married for 10 years and the therapist told you to have a date night and you figure, “sure, okay, I want this to work. I’ll put my balls in my pocket and take the missus out for a date night.” But this movie, man, it’s only going to remind her that you’re the same old guy who took her to see a movie and listened to the therapist when what she really needs is a good old spanking, you hearing me? Don’t fade out on me now because I’m red hot on fire.

Sarah: Umm, what? There’s a simple question and you run circles and no one knows what you’re talking about.

Joe: Come on, baby. Everyone knows exactly what I’m talking about. You really don’t know?

Sarah: No.

Joe: Really?

Sarah: No.

Joe: You really don’t know?

Sarah: No.

Joe: Ok. You’re not being honest with yourself and that’s why you’ve got to see this movie.

 

Does the old team still have it?

Sarah: Sadly, they don’t. We’ve seen the same shtick before and it gets old quick. This movie would have been huge 10 years ago, but now it’s a dinosaur.

Joe: Come on! What are you talking about? First of all, I want to say, great question. This is an amazing opportunity and I’ve got to say so far, we’re kind of knocking these questions out of the park -- we’ve got a real pitcher-catcher vibe going. Can you feel it? You’re signaling low and inside, and bam! We’re throwing them low and inside and we’re striking out everyone.

Sarah: What are you talking about?

Joe: You know what I’m talking about? Brotherhood. People respond to it. They need it. You know why people love the show My Two Dads?

Sarah: Brotherhood?

Joe: No. It was that purple chair. I’m kidding, of course. Nobody cares about furniture or that little girl. They care about the bond between those two dads. Blood brothers, that’s what they were. You think that judge with her gravelly voice is going to give a little girl to two guys? No. She’s smarter than that. She’s giving them custody of that little girl because she knows that they’re brothers. They’re family. And that’s what this movie shows. Two brothers seeing things through no matter what.

Sarah: Yeeeaah, I dunno. This movie feels like Old School only a little long in the tooth. It was cool and funny when they did it in their early 30s. In their mid-40s, it just seems sad.

Joe: If you are only going to see the negative aspects of this movie, I can’t help you. No one can help you. I’m throwing you life preservers, yelling, “man overboard!” and you’re dropping them. But don’t worry. I’m not going to give up on you.

 

What Drove You Nuts?

Sarah: l was angry and annoyed for most of the movie. These guys are a-holes who look sad when people treat them like a-holes. They have no relevant skills and they spend half the movie distracting the people who do with nonsensical cross talk. I was also put off when these guys in their 40s take naïve young kids to a strip club as a team-building exercise. It’s meant to be wholesome, but somewhere around the fifth lap dance it’s hard to remember that.

Joe: You know what drives me nuts? Complainers. Whiners. People who send food back at the restaurant because their steak isn’t cooked through.  Did Columbus turn back because he was too tired? Did Jesus say, “Hey you know what? You can put me on that cross but do you have to make me carry it there, too? I don’t want to die with a bad back.” No. He sucked it up. All these critics need to remember that this a redemption story for anyone who been counted out. These guys – brothers – are unemployed and obsolete but they have gumption. And what’s wrong with a little gumption?

Sarah: Well, why couldn’t they just get other sales jobs? They were good salesmen with years of experience. Sales is still an important part of the economy. And they are good with people, sure, but how can you BS your way through computer coding? It seems ridiculous and almost insulting to the audience’s intelligence.

Joe: Look. It’s like this. You like Jamba Juice, right?

Sarah: Yeah.

Joe: Well you go in, right, and you get your Banana Berry Smoothie. Your berry explosion, right?

Sarah: Right.

Joe: But then what? What else do you get?

Sarah: Sometimes, I get a muffin.

Joe: No, I’m not talking about muffins. Is this a muffin conversation? What else?

Sarah: Oh, the boost.

Joe: Right. The boost is that added kick. Let’s be honest, without the boost, you’ve got a sad cup of fruit, but with it you’ve got these strawberries rocking around, huge bosoms of strawberries and the bananas are – these aren’t flaccid bananas – these are souped-up, supercharged monsters ready to give your insides a little “how’s your father?” That’s what those two brothers can do for their Google team. They make these boring programmers into monster bananas and strawberries that energize your spirit!

Sarah: Okay, but without the strawberries and bananas, the boost is just some powder that doesn’t do anything.

Joe: Just once can you please just think about catching a life preserver? Just once.

 

What will you be thinking about tomorrow?

Sarah: The end credits sequence where they worked the job titles into all kinds of social media. It was pretty cool and creative. I thought, “Wow, that’s really neat.”

Joe: I’m done with this.

Sarah: Come on. Don’t be like that.

via "Dave" at Daily Picks and FlicksJoe: A whole funny movie with hope and charm and fast-talking brothers and the only positive thing you can mention is the credit sequence. I’ll say it: I’m hurt. You hurt my feelings. And you know hurt feelings make my skin break out and that makes me feel bad about myself and then I start eating Bugles. And you KNOW I threw away my fat pants years ago. You KNOW that.

Sarah: I’m sorry. Come on… you know I wanted to like the movie. It’s just… it’s just that it’s time has past. It’s the same old jokes, the tired clichés… it’s just time to move on to a different type of movie with a little more… invention. OK?

Joe: I don’t know.

Sarah: Hey, hey. They can still come back from this. Just because it’s a weak movie doesn’t mean they’re finished. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you; we’re bonded.

Joe: You mean like brothers?

Sarah: Better. Like spouses.

Joe: Ah kid, you finally reached out and grabbed that life preserver. I love you. And I forgive you for not loving this movie. Love means overlooking flaws.

Sarah: It sure does.

 

Verdict

Joe & Sarah: If you thought the preceding conversation was entertaining, you may be able to stomach this movie.

(fat cat via dailypicksandflicks.com)

Sarah and Joe are writers/editors who live in Boston. They met in a bar and married within a year. They love to argue about early Woody Allen films and old romantic comedies. They both agree to hate musicals.

 

 

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