Alamo Drafthouse Guide (9/22-9/28): Get Cranked with Aliens, Highlanders, and B.B. King

The Alamo Drafthouse has quickly garnered a reputation as one of the greatest movie theaters in the history of mankind…or at least the history of movie theaters. With their signature events, ample food and drink selection, and strict no-talking policy, they make obsolete all tawdry multiplexes and completely redefine the movie-going experience. Here’s what they’re up to this week!

Thursday September 22
Spaceballs Quote-Along
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
Continuing its tribute to the greatness that is Mel Brooks, the Alamo brings us Mel’s phenomenal send-up of Star Wars. Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Joan Rivers, and good ol’ Mel himself all turn in fantastic performances in one of the universe’s greatest spoofs. The Alamo is prepared to bring out your inner Schwartz with noisemakers and food and drink specials that are sure to send your taste buds into orbit.
Ultimate One Hit Wonders Sing-Along
“Listen, we hate the Macarena as much as the next red-blooded American, and Who Let the Dogs Out has turned into more of an anthem for pain than empowerment. But just because those are some of the first songs you think of when you hear ONE HIT WONDER doesn't mean all bands with one hit are bad. I mean just look at Chumbawumba...Well, maybe that's a bad example, but despite them only having one hit, they did have full intention of getting back up again (I mean they said it themselves. They're totally coming back, right?). Prove it, you say? And prove it The Action Pack shall. All these quickly adored and easily forgettable bands will unite for a blissful stroll down memory lane at the Ultimate One Hit Wonders Sing-Along! Typically we restrain ourselves and lock down on a specific decade when it comes to tapping into our one hitters' vault, but we're feeling kinda crazy and unleashing THE GREATEST COLLECTION OF ONE HIT WONDERS EVER ASSEMBLED from the '70s, '80s, '90s, and '00s. So if yo' butt is stuffed and yo' curves are kicking you can take me on! (....take on me)”—Greg MacLennan via
The No Shame Sing-Along
Alamo Ritz 9:45pm
“We see you there, sitting in your car, wailing away to Richard Marx. It's okay; don't feel judged. When we saw you mouthing the words to Counting Crows in the grocery story we wanted to find ourselves a gray guitar and play too. And then we thought, "Man! Sing-alongs are fun, but we need more than an outlet for fun- we need an outlet to channel our inner sadness too." We're talking the sadness that keeps you up until 3 a.m. laying in your tub staring at the ceiling and listening to the Goo Goo Dolls on repeat. And with that we put together the No Shame Soft Rock Sing-Along with you in mind. It's a masterful collection of songs that you hate to know, secretly love to hear, and can't wait till you get back in your car so you can wail out loud. Also it's an excuse to put an otherwise criminal amount of Hall & Oats and Phil Collins in a show. So let those tears streak down your cheeks as you enter The Action Pack's judgement free zone.”—Greg MacLennan via
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: These three events are nearing the end of their run. If you are a fan of one hit wonders, shamefully bad music, or Mel Brook’s space oddity, get yourself to the Alamo before it’s too late.
Friday September 23
Master Pancake: Highlander
Alamo Lake Creek (thru 9/24) 7:00pm; 10:00pm
“Come on out and watch as Master Pancake decapitates one of the most awesomely bad movies of all time: Highlander (1986).  Starring Christopher Lambert as the title character: an immortal Scottish swordsman who for no good reason speaks with a French accent.  Co-starring Sean Connery as a Spaniard who inexplicably talks with a thick Scottish accent, and Clancy Brown as a scary giant called The Kurgan.  With a ridiculous plot involving 16th-century Scotland, 1980s New York, a group of demi-gods called The Immortals, and a competition for supreme omnipotence called The Gathering, this movie has it all.  Plus a great mid-‘80s fantasy vibe, sweet training montages, a soundtrack by Queen, and more beheadings than the French revolution!  Comedians for this show include John Erler and special guests Owen Egerton and Scott Chester.”—Master Pancake’s John Erler via
The Late Show: Crank w/9-Volt Batteries
Alamo Ritz (thru 9/24) 11:45pm
“Superheroes, giant robots and pirate ships be damned—Are you ready for a REAL action flick?  A movie that just injects Jason Statham with a crazy poison and lets the cameras roll?  Of course you are! The legend of Chev Chelios might be an allegory for the post-9/11 world where we as a nation have to keep moving forward and collectively combat evildoers …. But it most likely is just a movie about a guy who has to keep his adrenaline up or else he dies.  This is plain and simple a mindless, coked-up, shoot ‘em up cinematic high-speed car chase of a movie.  It is completely ridiculous and it is beautiful. Action! Sex! Waffle irons!  Action!  Erections! Action! Cross-dressing Efren Ramirez! FUN!  Crack open a Red Bull and bring plenty of nose spray because it is time to let an over-the-top Statham defibrillate your heart! Everyone who buys a tickets gets a 9-volt battery to lick along with the movie!”—John Gross via
Saturday September 24
Kid’s Club: The Original War of the Worlds
“Long before 21st Century theaters were invaded by Spielberg’s money-sucking digital spacemen, 1950s audiences were shocked into a new dimension by one of the most powerful sci-fi films of all time. This Technicolor adaptation of the legendary Orson Welles radio broadcast features state-of-the-art effects that STILL rattle the human noodle, and every aspect of the film will have you believing that interstellar invasion is right around the corner! Much of this credit can go to superproducer George Pal (The Time Machine; Tom Thumb), a devoted fantasist who created more magic than you’ll find in a dumpster full of wizards. Often imitated but never equaled, the original War of the Worlds is a hair-raising (but kid-safe!) experience that is absolutely made for the big, big screen! Go ahead and miss it, but be warned that doing so puts you at the top of the martians’ vaporization list.”—
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Thrill to all the cheap laughs, cheap women, and cheap production values of one of the world’s premier bad movies. Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show in-and-of-itself is an event, but it takes on a whole new life when witnessed within the walls of The Alamo Village with loads of audience participation, dressed-up patrons, and general wickedness that has become a vital component to the film’s meteoritic rise to cult film legend. 
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: War of the Worlds is an amazing film both in its own regard and with respect to the limitations of the time in which it was made. Do not miss this rare opportunity to see War of the Worlds on the big screen.
Sunday September 25
Slacker 2011
Alamo Village 7:00pm
“1991's Slacker is a love story to Austin, Texas and a near-documentary portrait of that era in its history.  For twenty years, Austin has been defined by the film and its band of eccentric city-dwellers, dragworms and proto-hipsters.  Two decades later, a new generation of filmmakers have emerged in the wake of this film.  It is now their turn to tell the story of Austin. 24 of Austin's brightest young filmmakers have banded together to update Slacker with their own perspectives on the city.  Slacker 2011 is a stream-of-consciousness chronicle of a day in Austin, presenting the various personalities and locations that give the city its identity.  The film showcases how the town has transformed so drastically from that moment in 1991, and also how some things never change. Slacker 2011 is a funny and thoroughly creative send-up of the original film and of twenty years of Austin filmmaking, presenting the city’s changing face while showcasing some of its most exciting talent.”—
TV at the Alamo: Breaking Bad
Alamo Lake Creek 10:00pm
“This six-time Emmy Award winning drama from AMC is probably the best show about meth cookers since I Love Lucy.  Bryan Cranston, who has won the Best Lead Actor award three years in a row, stars as Walter White, a science teacher turned crystal meth kingpin in Albuquerque, New MexicoEvery week, we will be watching last week's episode followed by the new episode, recorded on DVR so we can fastforward through commercials. For the premiere episode, we will watch the Season 3 finale first!”—  
Monday September 26
Music Monday: ACL Reel Rarities BB King
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“The phrase "national treasure" is bandied around a lot when we talk about musical artists of a certain age, but surely the "Beale Street Blues Boy" B.B. King has earned the right to that title many times over. He's more than just the greatest living blues singer and guitarist, he's an ambassador and an educator. But mostly he's an entertainer - the kind of entertainer whose upbringing playing in tough clubs for audiences that demanded their money's worth, made him an artist who always delivers the goods, whether in a juke joint or on in a soccer stadium halfway across the world, or in fact here in Austin in front of TV cameras and an adoring audience. We are thrilled to present this 1983 Austin City Limits episode featuring the great man himself, tearing the roof off and showing why he is the man.”—
Tuesday September 27
AFS: Essential Cinema: The Killer
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
“A professional assassin accepts just one more job so he can make enough money to help restore the sight of a nightclub singer he accidentally blinded. Betrayal intrudes and the hunter becomes the hunted until the body count reaches 120. A gorgeous ballet of splattered blood and flying bodies. This one upped the ante in subsequent action films. In Cantonese/Mandarin with English subtitles.
In the mid-1970s through the 80s, the Hong Kong film industry received a much needed shot-in-the-arm from young filmmakers returning from study abroad, brimming over with new ideas of how to tell primarily contemporary stories set in Hong Kong. They would set off the HK New Wave of films bursting with visual flair and audacious themes.”—Chale Nafus, AFS via
TV at the Alamo: Glee
Alamo Village 9:45pm
“We’ll be showing every new episode of the season where you can get giddy with your fellow Gleeks weekly.  So start practicing your Schuester dance moves, warm up your vocal chords to out-sing Rachel, and get fabulous like Kurt, ‘cause we’re bringing the Glee.”—
Terror Tuesday: The Gate
Alamo Ritz 10:00pm
“There are plenty of great ways to traumatize children. You can tell them their mother’s been in a fatal car accident, or reveal that ketchup is actually dogs blood. Or - like my parents did in the summer after my 6th grade year - you can simply take them to see The Gate. This demon-encrusted cinematic deathcoaster was somehow marketed to pre-teen audiences despite the fact that it’s undeniably the most mentally abusive PG-13 film to ever hit the screen. Two 12-year-old outcasts find the actual doorway to Hell in their own backyard, inadvertently releasing an unstoppable tempest of supernatural violation. Drywalled corpses, stop-motion beastopoids and adolescent self-mutilations culminate in a feature that shouldn’t be viewed by any child under the age of 40. If your child’s bed is too dry, bring ‘em along to this show and it oughtta just do the trick.”—Zack Carlson
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: John Woo’s The Killer is one of the greatest action films ever made. The Austin Film Society gives us the chance to witness John Woo’s masterpiece on the big screen; larger-than-life, just like its anti-hero played by Chow Yun-Fat.
Wednesday September 28
Robin Hood: Men in Tights Quote-Along
Alamo Village 7:00pm
Mel Brooks takes a jab at Errol Flynn’s, and practically everyone else’s, depiction of the classic Sherwood Forrest outlaw. This comedy has everything one could possibly want: clever jokes, slapstick, a wonderful cast, and a non-bloated, still-talented Cary Elwes. Your favorite one-liners will appear on the screen for you to yell out over a pint of mead….or at least one of the Drafthouse’s many available beers.
Big Screen Classics: Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
“Forget tedious hours spent sifting through dirt for pottery shards, Dr. Indiana Jones knows how to do archeology right: by trotting around the globe snatching ancient objects, narrowly escaping unfriendly natives, romancing sassy barmaids with his roguish charm, and fighting Nazis with his dukes and a whip. Really, what's not to love about this globetrotting adventure-fest? An absolute must-see on the BIG screen, we're proud to present Raiders in a brand new 2K digital format.”—
Weird Wednesday: Sex Demons
Alamo Ritz 9:45pm
“Nunsploitation’s finest hour and a half. The great, misunderstood, but undeniably gifted Jess Franco is the most prolific filmmaker of all time (over 200 so far and still cranking them out). And for as long as he’s been making movies he has been derided, dismissed and most of all ignored by virtually all mainstream critics. But such notables as Fritz Lang, Orson Welles, Pedro Almodóvar and Quentin Tarantino have sung his praises and over the past few years his inexpensive and surreal visual aesthetic has gained him many new adherents. Make up your own mind about Franco: genius, hack, or both but by all means don’t miss it. It’s a visually arresting, delirious kaleidoscope of sex, torture and sacrilege replete with the foxiest nuns you’ve ever seen, all set to the accompaniment of grossly incongruous screaming psychedelic guitar music.”—Lars Nilsen via
Horror Remix: Health Care
Alamo Lake Creek 10:00pm
“The government can’t provide free health care, but your ol’ pals at Horror Remix has the cure for all your ills. Not free drugs, but free laughs! Laughter is the best medicine and we have plenty for you to smile about. in two hours we'll soar thru three ridiculous 80's medical horror films (Visiting Hours, Hospital Massacre, The Last Slumber Party), plenty of kooky extras and, as always your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. So bad, it’s good!”—
Ultimate One Hit Wonders Sing-Along
Alamo Village 10:00pm
Only at the Alamo: Anime
9/27 7:30pm
The Alamo Drafthouse provides a welcome haven for fans of Japanese animation. Samurai swords must unfortunately be checked at the door.
Splatterfest: Shorts Program 1
9/27 7:30pm; 10:00pm
“See the best of the best Splatterfest shorts from all over the world.  Blood, gore, and peddle to the metal HORROR!”—  
Splatterfest: Shorts Program 2
9/28 7:35pm
Spaceballs Quote-Along
9/22 7:00pm
Ultimate One Hit Wonders Sing-Along
9/24 10:00pm
TV at the Alamo: Glee
9/27 7:00pm
San Antonio
The Big Leboswki Quote-Along
9/25 4:30pm; 8:00pm
If you love the Cohen Brothers’ tribute to shiftless losers with mad bowling skills and penchants for Creedence Clearwater Revival, this is the place to be. All your favorite one-liners from The Dude will flash across the screen to prompt your collective vocal worship of this masterful comedy.
Only at the Alamo: Anime
9/26 7:30pm
Girlie Night: Mean Girls
9/28 7:30pm
“I know Congress has a lot going on right now, but I still cannot believe that they haven't yet passed a law requiring every freshman to receive a copy of Mean Girls before the first day of class. Hello, it's only the most important survival guide to high school ever created! Without Mean Girls, how would you understand the importance of befriending lovable, self-described freaks like Janice and Damian? How would you figure out that you're supposed to dress sexy, not scary, for Halloween? How would you discover that you should never, ever eat a Kalteen bar? And, most importantly, how else would you know that Regina George's hair is full of secrets? This film is jam-packed with vital tips from Her Royal Highness Tina Fey, who created characters I love to hate and continue to quote, seven years after the movie hit screens. Mean Girls is a modern day classic, and at Girlie Night, we'll give it all of the adoration it deserves. Join us as we hate on the Plastics, cheer for the Mathletes and celebrate the one thing Lindsay Lohan did right. Trust falls optional!”—
Horror Remix: Health Care
9/28 10:15pm
Robin Hood: Men in Tights Quote-Along
9/26 7:00pm; 10:00pm
TV at the Alamo: Glee
9/27 7:00pm
Robin Hood: Men in Tights Quote-Along
9/22 7:00pm; 10:00pm
Strange Brew Beer Feast
9/23 7:00pm
“Listen up you hosers! Because we're the Drafthouse and because we love good beer and great movies, we're celebrating the awesome adventures of Bob and Doug McKenzie with a Strange Brew beer feast. We've teamed up with the great folks over at Leinenkugel to give you one of the best Canadian nights of your American life by screening the brilliant cult hit on the big screen along with a multi-course, face-stuffing feast of the finest Canadian food and beers!”—
The No Shame Sing-Along
9/25 7:00pm
Spaceballs Quote-Along
9/26 7:00pm; 10:00pm
9/22 12:10pm
“Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), who owns a nightclub in Casablanca, discovers his old flame Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) is in town with her husband, Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid) . Laszlo is a famed rebel, and with Germans on his tail, Ilsa knows Rick can help them get out of the country. This is part of our ALAMO UNCORKED Series with an optional wine flight being offered September 18th.  Sponsored by The Northern Virginia Daily.”—
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