The Alamo Drafthouse has quickly garnered a reputation as one of the greatest movie theaters in the history of mankind…or at least the history of movie theaters. With their signature events, ample food and drink selection, and strict no-talking policy, they make obsolete all tawdry multiplexes and completely redefine the movie-going experience. Here’s what they’re up to this week!
Alamo Winchester Virginia, 9/2 7:00pm
Big Screen Classics: Hausu
You’ve seen weird movies in your life, no doubt. But if you haven’t seen Hausu (alias House), you haven’t seen the very pinnacle of movie weirdness. It’s essentially a haunted house story, but one made with the deliberate extraction of logic that none but the Japanese understand. Demonic cats, flying severed heads, and a Partridge Family van are but a few of the oddball items of note you’ll observe while playing the Hausu I-Spy. The strangest film to ever warrant a Criterion release? Yes, yes it is.
Alamo Ritz Austin, 9/4 10:30pm
Terror Tuesday: Pieces
Some people dislike horror movies because they think these movies are too gory. These people are boring and you should unfriend them immediately; not on Facebook, in real life. Carnage auteur Juan Piquer Simon brings us a perfect example of what makes even the cheapest, bargain basement 80s slashers so glorious. Not only does JPS weave a beautifully depraved viscera quilt, but he also has the wherewithal to include a single, completely unexplained ninja attack. You know, because why not. They don’t make horror movies like this anymore, mostly because people’s eyeballs would burst from the sticky, schlocky majesty.
Alamo Park North San Antonio, 9/5 7:00pm
Tough Guy Cinema: Predator
Tough Guy Cinema is sort of the antithesis of the Alamo’s Girlie Night. It celebrates all the sweaty, punchy, shotgun-y things that make guy movies guy movies. If ever a movie made us want to chew bricks and fire guns the size of Volvos, it was Predator. A troupe of nonsense-free badasses travels into the sweltering jungle and kill everything that moves, even the things from other planets they can’t see. There is one spent shell casing for every ounce of pure testosterone on the screen…and that is saying something on both sides.
Alamo Lake Creek Austin, 9/5 7:00pm
Girlie Night: Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion Quote-Along
It’s hard to even classify Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion as a chick flick. If that were categorically accurate, the “chicks” in question would have to hail from an entirely separate dimension. Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow create two of the most off-the-wall valley girls ever conceived and march through a story that feels cut from the cloth of John Waters, well at least from the cloth of Waters’ scrap pile. The dialogue is so fashionably 90s as to sound like a foreign language and the performances of its leads are surreptitiously brilliant. Come on down to the Alamo, preferably in shoes that aren’t filling up with blood, and attend the most painfully hilarious high school reunion since your actual high school reunion.