Alamo Drafthouse Guide (12/15-12/21): Quote an 'Elf', Suffer a Magic Christmas Tree and be a 'Bad Santa'

The Alamo Drafthouse has quickly garnered a reputation as one of the greatest movie theaters in the history of mankind…or at least the history of movie theaters. With their signature events, ample food and drink selection, and strict no-talking policy, they make obsolete all tawdry multiplexes and completely redefine the movie-going experience. Here’s what they’re up to this week!

Thursday December 15th
 
 
Food & Film: Home Alone Cheese Pizza Party!
 
“Now it would be enough to just get out of the house and enjoy this Christmas classic on the big screen at an Alamo near you, but we're honoring Kevin McAllister, the hero modern of Christmas, with ‘a lovely cheese pizza, just for me.’ So grab a ticket and sign yourself up for a Cheese Pizza Party where you won't have to do any sharing and the only limit is yourself. Just be sure and take care of your waitstaff afterwards with a keep the change, ya filthy animal.”—Greg MacLennan via Drafthouse.com
 
 
Elf Quote-Along
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
 
“The Ultimate Holiday experiences begins HERE. When Elf was first released it recaptured that goosebump-inducing Christmas spirit that had been soooo lacking in EVERY OTHER holiday movie release and gave you new reason to believe in Santa Claus. This Quote-Along is so much fun, from the spaghetti and syrup eating contest at the open of it to the mandatory group tickle fight at the end, and it just doesn't feel like Christmas at the Alamo unless we get to share this movie with you. So we decided to spread that Christmas cheer the best way we know how - by singing and quoting loud for all to hear. And don't worry, if you can quote alone, then you can quote around other people. There's really no difference! Grab the kids, order something sugary and The Action Pack will be providing jingle bells for everyone, bubbles for a few key scenes, and a special present for whoever can eat their spaghetti the fastest!”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Big Screen Classics: It’s a Wonderful Life
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
 
It’s a Wonderful Life is the most Christmassy, the most inspirational, and certainly the most heartwarming, of all Hollywood output during the Golden Age.  Frank Capra’s Yuletide yarn is touching, and will bring you to tears for a good portion of its two-plus hour running time.  With its perfect winter setting, good cheer, and strong family and community message, this film is the quintessential representation of the Christmas Spirit in the cinema, and it is meant to be enjoyed over and over again.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
Alamo Ritz 9:45pm
 
“Yeah, that’s right. Every single year pop stars who are trying to rekindle their career join forces with pop stars who are trying to make a quick buck while they’re still on top of the charts and they all release albums full of Christmas albums so that your family can have ‘something to cherish for years’ and ‘start a new tradition.’ The Christmas pop genre is really an obscure beast, with some singers like Mariah Carey choosing to use her trademark pipes to re-record HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS while boy bands like THE New Kids On The Block release entirely new tracks like HAVE A FUNKY, FUNKY CHRISTMAS so that the teeny bopper crowd can have their own songs while Mom and Dad are in the other room listening to Bing Crosby. Well, this show is finally something the whole family can get behind, because we’ve mixed together all of the best holiday songs from pop culture, with Jessica Simpson, John Denver and the Muppets, *NSYNC, Bing Crosby and David Bowie, and so much more. Plus, this show isn’t just a sing-along!”—Henri Mazza via Drafthouse.com
 
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: Seeing Home Alone at the Drafthouse near the holidays would be treat enough, but the Alamo is never satisfied with being average. Having attended other all-you-can-eat pizza events in the past, and being a fan of their pizza in general, I can’t recommend this event more highly.
 
 
Friday December 16th
 
 
Master Pancake: X-Mas Show
Alamo South Lamar (thru 12/17) 7:00pm; 10:00pm
 
“The beloved Alamo holiday tradition returns for 2011: it's the Master Pancake X-mas Show!  We’ll be channel surfing through a flurry of clips from your favorite holiday movie and TV specials (Rudolph, The Grinch, Frosty) and some weird programs you never dreamed existed (The Christmas Shoes, Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special and more)!  Pancake regulars John Erler (the bald one) and Joe Parsons (the teacher) welcome microscopic holiday fetishist Owen Egerton who will crack jokes and make up new Holiday songs on the spot. Past audiences have been treated to amazing improvised carols such as “Deer Hooker” and “Daddy Brought his Mistress home for Christmas”.  We'll also have an audience sing-along, seasonal snacks, and maybe even a little Pudding and Butter!  Help us SLEIGH THE HOLIDAYS in Master Pancake style!”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
American: The Bill Hicks Story
Alamo Village (thru 12/17) 10:00pm
 
“Three years in the making, American: The Bill Hicks STory brings the tale of one of modern culture’s most iconic heroes to the big screen. Much more than a comedian, Bill Hicks was and still is an inspiration to millions. His timeless comedy tackled the contradictions of America and modern life head on. But his unique gift was to tease apart the essence of religion, the dangers of unbridled government power and the double standards inherent in much of modern society, using nothing but his hilarious ideas and the uncompromising observational style that continues to resonate with successive generations. To honor what would have been Bill's 50th birthday we are bringing back this great documentary for two weekends only! And to help us celebrate The Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife will be present at the Village for both nights of screenings giving away fun prizes.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
Alamo Village (thru 12/17) 11:30pm
 
 
The Late Show: Bad Santa
Alamo Ritz (thru 12/17) Midnight
 
“David Fincher's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo may have been labeled ‘The Feel Bad Movie Of Christmas’ by Hollywood, but every Grinch knows Terry Zwigoff's deranged Bad Santa has already claimed that title years ago. In his greatest role ever, Billy Bob Thornton stars as a con man who enjoys the finer things in life - pounding women in dark alleys and boozing it up with every breath life gives him. He poses as Santa Claus and has big plans with a little man to rob a mall on Christmas Eve. His only setback is the loser chubby kid whom he's rapidly warming up to. This is the last feature from one of comedy’s’ greats - the late John Ritter.”—Chase Whale via Drafthouse.com  
 
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: If you’ve only seen Bad Santa once, and didn’t think much of it, I implore you to take advantage of this Late Show opportunity to revisit. It is actually a great, completely warped Christmas film noir with Billy Bob Thornton as the hard-boiled, decidedly foul-mouthed, criminal. The crass words that spill from his fake-beard-covered mouth are absolutely hysterical.
 
 
Saturday December 17th
 
 
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Alamo Village 11:55pm
 
Thrill to all the cheap laughs, cheap women, and cheap production values of one of the world’s premier bad movies. Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show in-and-of-itself is an event, but it takes on a whole new life when witnessed within the walls of The Alamo Village with loads of audience participation, dressed-up patrons, and general wickedness that has become a vital component to the film’s meteoritic rise to cult film legend.
 
 
Sunday December 18th
  
Master Pancake: Christmas Show
Alamo Village 7:00pm
 
 
Elf Quote-Along
Alamo Lake Creek (thru 12/19) 7:00pm
 
 
Foleyvision: Santa Vs Satan
Alamo South Lamar 7:25pm; 9:50pm
 
“The world's most unique film-viewing experience is returning to tackle jolly old Saint Nick in the most riotously bizarre holiday movie you'll see in this lifetime! This holiday season, Foleyvision takes on an incredibly ludicrous Christmas movie from south of the border that features your favorite laughing fat man in a red suit versus your favorite laughing skinny man in a red suit. And this time, it's personal. But when this turf war is over, the only casualty will be your abdominal muscles, sore from laughing for over an hour an a half straight. Watching this movie at Christmas time with the full Foleyvision treatment is one of the most extravagant joys those of us with hopelessly warped minds can hope to experience.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Asian Invasion: Drunken Tai Chi
Alamo Ritz 10:00pm
 
“Join us for a special High For The Holidays edition of Asian Invasion. Donnie Yen, in his first film, joins Yuen Woo-ping and the Yuen clan in a jaw-dropping martial arts classic. When Yen’s family is killed by an assassin, he is left to wander alone. Soon he is taken in by a wine-swilling Tai Chi master. Just to prevent any confusion, this is the ass-kicking variety of Tai Chi, not the hackey-sack-hippies-in-the-park kind. Yen learns Drunken Tai Chi and faces off against the men who have wronged his family. As is par for the course with the Yuen clan (Drunken Wu Tang, Dreadnaught), this movie is insane, and the kung fu is absurdly entertaining. Don’t miss this rare presentation of this absurdly fun kung fu comedy.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Monday December 19th
 
 
Elf Quote-Along
Alamo Ritz 10:00pm
 
 
The Big Lebowski Quote-Along
Alamo South Lamar 10:15pm
 
If you love the Cohen Brothers’ tribute to shiftless losers with mad bowling skills and penchants for Creedence Clearwater Revival, this is the place to be. All your favorite one-liners from The Dude will flash across the screen to prompt your collective vocal worship of this masterful comedy.
 
 
Tuesday December 20th
 
 
Mondo Presents Gremlins
Alamo South Lamar 7:00pm
 
“1. We will be showing Gremlins at the Alamo Drafthouse S. Lamar on December 20th at 7pm
2. There will be a poster and other Christmas goodies for you to purchase at the screening.
3. It will be fun. The three points above kind of explain it all. We're sending out 2011 properly with a Christmas presentation of Joe Dante's Gremlins. We normally like to include the poster in the ticket price but, at this show, we'll be doing the transactions before the show starts. The posters presents will be debuted and given out after the movie concludes. We hope to see you one last time before 2012!”—Justin Ishmael via Drafthouse.com
 
 
Girlie Night: Love Actually
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
 
“Forget about A Christmas Story or Charlie Brown. Heck, forget about Baby Jesus! Love Actually is basically the whole reason I celebrate Christmas. For, without this masterpiece of a romantic comedy, there would be no love in this cold, cruel world. Plus, we'd all be stuck singing ‘Jingle Bells’ instead of everyone's favorite carol, ‘Christmas Is All Around.’ I challenge you to find one other movie that combines Colin Firth, an adorable little boy with a dead mom, the British Prime Minister, the porn industry, Mr. Bean, a washed up rock star and a kid in an octopus costume into something that makes me cry tears of shimmering, golden joy into my mug of spiced wine. This film TROUNCES all other holiday films in the ‘squee’ category. I mean, ask me how many times I've rewound and watched the scene when Mark shows up at Juliet's door and shows her a sign that says, ‘To me, you are perfect.’ Because OMG I WANT THAT!!!! Join us for this very special holiday edition of Girlie Night, where you're allowed (and expected) to squeal, sigh and grab your neighbor's arm when Colin Firth finally proposes to that Portugese lady.”—Sarah Pitre via Drafthouse.com
 
 
AFS: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Alamo South Lamar 7:00pm
 
“In the future, the pains of divorce may not be necessary – just have your memories erased, or can it really be that easy? Can you even call it a comedy when a movie opens with Jim Carrey crying, Beck moping in harmony on the soundtrack? Or when a major plot point involves a memory-erasing machine designed to obliterate all recollection of an ex? Eternal Sunshine may be the darkest iteration yet of lovers who part, only to be pulled back together again, but it’s also a funny, tender, and endlessly inventive examination of why we love who we love, even when we know we shouldn’t.”—Drafthouse.com  
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
 
 
Terror Tuesday: Darkman
Alamo Ritz 10:15pm
 
“Long before Evil Dead legend Sam Raimi drowned in Hollywood’s CGI stinkhole, he unleashed this Phantom of the Opera-flavored superhero revenge movie. So sure, go ahead and argue that it’s not a horror film at all. I’m not listening. Or you can consider that no action movie features such heaping helpings of melting skin, severed fingers, henchman head-crushing and mad science rage. Darkman is very truly a comic book come to life, but the type of R-rated ‘Mature Readers’ comic book that your grandma would find under your bed and burn in the kitchen sink. Liam Neeson (!) stars as Peyton Westlake, a brilliant biological researcher who angers the mob and is blown to smithereens. Charred beyond recognition, he uses his experimental processes to alter his monstrous appearance in dozens of ways to exact vicious revenge on his would-be murderers. What follows is a torrential assault of exploding helicopters, exploding buildings and exploding bodies, allegedly ghost-written by the Coen Brothers and definitely capped off with one of the better cameos in lowbrow movie history.”—Zack Carlson via Drafthouse.com
 
Alamo Survivor’s Tip: I haven’t seen the new Mondo poster for Gremlins, but they had me at “new Mondo poster for Gremlins.” I’ve seen the 35mm print they will likely use and it is gorgeous. Plus, any opportunity to own a one-of-a-kind poster from Mondo Tees is never something to be passed up. Don’t wait until after midnight to buy your tickets. Do it now!
 
 
Wednesday December 21st
 
 
Food & Film: Home Alone Cheese Pizza Party!
Alamo Ritz 7:00pm
 
 
Grease Sing-Along
Alamo Lake Creek 7:00pm
 
If you love the 50s, if the idea of poodle skirts and jukeboxes really revs your engine, then why not come together like rama lama lama and ding a de dinga a dong and sing along with your favorite moments from this musical smash hit? Complimentary combs and candy cigarettes will complete the illusion that you've traveled back in time to the 50s…as represented in the 70s.
 
 
Weird Wednesday: The Magic Christmas Tree
Alamo Ritz 10:30pm
 
“Special seasonal reprise of the Christmas-killing hit! Here it is: the evil holiday movie we've all secretly been waiting for. It made its producers wealthy men and turned a generation of children into santaphobic sociopaths. We are still paying the cost. It's a very strange film and we're not sure why anyone would make it, but two words come to mind: Malicious Intent. Why else would the young hero be abducted by a witch and forced to uh, plant Satan's magic seed in his backyard? The seed grows into a tree that gives him three wishes. Then the kid abducts Santa Claus, straps him to a chair and abuses him until he gets all the toys in the world. Plus there's a long race between a lawnmower and a turtle and more tomfoolery presided over by the powers of Darkness, including the appearance of a giant who says inappropriate things. We cannot be held responsible for any lasting trauma.”—Lars Nilsen via Drafthouse.com
 
 
Houston
 
 
 
 
Big Screen Classics: Scrooged
12/15 7:30pm
 
“There have been dozens of versions of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol but none as darkly twisted and funny as Scrooged, director Richard Donner's 1988 spin on the holiday tale. Bill Murray stars as Frank Cross, a heartless TV exec who only wants the simple things in life: to make tons of money and for people to leave him the hell alone. He's is a greedy, despicable man who is actually pretty OK with everyone hating him. But one Christmas Eve, after he's made his crew work all night on a crap TV special and casually fired one employee (Bobcat Goldthwait!),  the ruthless miser gets a visit from three ghosts (including the New York Dolls' David Johansen! And eternal pixie Carol Kane!) who try to show him the error of his ways -- with insults, hellacious cab rides to his unhappy past, punches to the face, and glimpses of a ruinous future. Featuring Murray at his swaggering, wacky '80s comic best, scene-stealing supporting characters, cameos and pop culture reference galore, Scrooged is simply waayy more fun than any Masterpiece Theatre adaptation could ever hope to be.”—Drafthouse.com  
 
 
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
12/15 9:00pm
 
“Before Robert Downey Jr. takes up the case of A Game of Shadows in the new Sherlock Holmes film from director Guy Ritchie, see one of the best Christmas movies you’ve never seen. Written and directed by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stars Robert Downey Jr., Michelle Monaghan and Val Kilmer in a murder mystery featuring a gay private eye, a struggling actress and a common crook pretending to be an up-and-coming actor. Great dialogue, wonderful performances and a wickedly funny story make this a must see mystery movie — the perfect appetizer for a midnight screening of Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Graveyard Shift: The Frighteners & Dead Alive
12/17 8:00pm
 
“This month marks the 10th anniversary of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. Ten years ago, the man who had previously brought the world Bad Taste and Meet The Feebles proved he could handle big-budgeted epic adventure films as well as anybody. While it's nice to see Jackson get the respect and acclaim he deserves, I imagine I'm not alone in wishing he'd consider revisiting the genre he cut his teeth in — goofy horror films. That's why this month we're screening two of Peter Jackson's best horror-comedies: The Frighteners and Dead Alive.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Dynamic Duos: Batman & Batman Returns
12/18 5:00pm
 
“This holiday season, don’t sit at home wondering where Batman gets all those wonderful toys, come to the Alamo Drafthouse and witness a full night of caped crusader caterwauling. Watch as Bruce Wayne channels his multitude of issues (and we’re talking emotional, not bagged and boarded), dons a cowl and cape and puts the hammer to the likes of Joker, Catwoman and The Penguin. This is Batmania at its prime — before you were ‘Kissed by a Rose’ or suffered the sigh of bat-nipples. In these early ‘90s Batman masterpieces, you’ll get your fair share of Prince tunes, rocket launching penguins and all the Tim Burton-conducted tight black leather madness you can throw a Batarang at.”—Robert Saucedo via Drafthouse.com
 
 
Only at the Alamo: Anime
12/20 7:30pm
 
The Alamo Drafthouse provides a welcome haven for fans of Japanese animation. Samurai swords must unfortunately be checked at the door.
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
12/21 7:30pm
 
 
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
12/15 7:30pm
 
 
Big Screen Classics: Scrooged
12/21 7:30pm
 
 
San Antonio
 
 
 
 
Action Pack: Die Hard
12/15 7:00pm
 
Yippe Kai Yay, mofo. Die Hard may just be the ultimate Tough Guy movie. With John McClane, Bruce Willis created a Tough Guy who was instantly relatable but still impossibly awesome. Because even though he single-handedly takes down Hans Gruber's entire gang of terrorists while roaming around an office building barefoot, he still lets us see how vulnerable he is and that makes him all the more badass. Join us this holiday season as we pay tribute to the movie that's inspired screenwriters for two decades to pitch projects as "It's like Die Hard, but in a _____________," as we enjoy Die Hard on the big screen with cap guns to shoot-along with and live explosions from the Action Pack.”—Henri Mazza via Drafthouse.com
 
 
Cartoon Cereal Party: Holiday Edition
12/17 11:30am
 
“Remember Saturday morning? The weekly apex of youth entertainment. Your eyes would devour Ghostbusters, He-Man, Ren & Stimpy, and Dungeons and Dragons until it was finally time to change outta your pajamas and start bugging your parents for comic book money. All the while you absorbed much more than your RDA of sugar, carbohydrates and artificial colors from huge boxes of sugary delicious breakfast cereal. Then we all grew up and got drunk and started sleeping through Saturday mornings until all we had of those idyllic frosted Saturday A.M.s was the memories...UNTIL NOW! Because we're gonna bring you a 2.5 hour Saturday Morning Cartoon Cereal Party, and the only thing we're leaving out is the crappy cartoons. Just bring yourselves, and if you have a special spoon or stuffed animal you can bring that too. Pajamas are optional. Let me rephrase that: please wear clothes, even if you choose not to wear pajamas. Regardless, both the holiday cartoons and the endless supply of cereal will take you back to a younger, more innocent and - yes - stupider time.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
Elf Quote-Along
12/18 4:30pm; 7:15pm
 
 
Only at the Alamo: Anime
12/19 7:30pm
 
 
Girlie Night: Love Actually
12/20 7:00pm; 10:15pm
 
 
TV at the Alamo: Doctor Who
12/21 7:30pm
 
“Join us for the mid season finale. ‘A Good Man Goes to War:’ The Doctor and Rory will race through the galaxy to find Amy Pond.  This is the episode where much is revealed and you may need a kleenex for the final scenes. We will conclude the evening with ‘Let's Kill Hitler.’ Free admission but you need to get a ticket from the box office to secure your seat.”—Drafthouse.com
 
 
 
 
Cartoon Cereal Party: Holiday Edition
12/18 11:30am
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
12/19 7:00pm
 
 
Action Pack: Die Hard
12/20 7:00pm
 
 
 
 
The Xmas Pops Sing-Along
12/19 7:00pm
 
 
Elf Quote-Along
12/20 7:00pm; 9:50pm
 
 
 
 
It’s a Wonderful Life
12/15-12/20 (Check daily times)
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2012 Golden Globe Nominations: 'The Artist,' 'Bridesmaids', '50/50,' 'Moneyball,' 'Hugo,' 'War Horse' and More Take Top Honors

2012 Golden Globe Nominations: 'The Artist,' 'Bridesmaids', '50/50,' 'Moneyball,' 'Hugo,' 'War Horse' and More Take Top Honors

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