Written May 17, 2012
A dismal time is had by all. This little piece is brought to us by egos in search of an imagination. The paltry attempt at macabre humor fails. The plot fails. The Depp character is silly and, worse, lost. You, as the inquisitive movie goer, will wish your wallet had taken you to the dollar movies. Alas, famous men get so well settled into their mastery of the medium that they do not see when the rug has been pulled out from under them.
Purchasing an airplane vomit bag would serve you better.
Written May 12, 2012
The kitschiest of the kitsch, the cheesiest of the cheese. It not only didn't take itself seriously, but it gave itself a wedgie, then pointed and laughed at itself, till it wet its own pants. Totally worth a viewing. Just make sure your bladder is empty.
Written May 24, 2012
It seemed slow to me. I am a big fan of the original series and yes even the cheesy remake in the 90's this was a whole other animal!!
Written May 23, 2012
The whole premise was strange to me - I think we were supposed to believe that the witch was the "bad-guy" but as the movie progressed it kind of seemed like Barnabus the vampire was the antagonist that brought a curse upon himself for being a jerk. Ultimately I think it was pretty obvious that the "good-guy" killed WAY more innocent people than the witch ever did. And at least her killings had a motive as opposed to the random acts of violence carried out by the vampire (granted she created the vampire, but still). Plus she was super hot which made it even harder to dislike her.
Toward the end It was as though the director was trying to cram in a bunch of references from the book or tv series or whatever the movie was based on that made no sense... Random werewolf that did NOTHING, some weird ghost that kept falling off the chandelier that did NOTHING, random boy's mom that should have stepped in long before things got carried away.
For me it was just OK... maybe a good renter.
Written May 13, 2012
I went with my 14 year old daughter and a 50+ friend who loves anything Depp. Works for this audience. Definately NOT for the squeemish, sexually inhibited, or really little kids. Pretty big "yuck" factor and lots of fuel for violence junkies. Amazing cast of actors acting amazingly poorly - then I began to think that Depp in particular was playing it as a parody of himself and the laugh was on us for paying the $11 a seat to see him mumble jokes in bad make-up . The one stand-out acting performance was Michele Pfieffer who seemed authentic - the rest could have been replaced by a local high school troupe except for their famous faces and bodies which we saw reguarly in various states of decay. I guess Burton and this cast had a great time making this film and we certainly laughed out loud enough to get our money's worth even if we maybe we were laughing hardest at the serious bits. Whatever....